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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » Girlfriend is transitioning (HELP!)

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Author Topic: Girlfriend is transitioning (HELP!)
Lil Miss Grodynipples
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Member # 44749

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Okay, so I'm a female high school junior. There's this girl(Sweet, geeky, smart, funny, the works)that I may soon be starting a sexual relationship with. She's trans, and just started taking hormones. Currently she's male, but eventually, her "outie" will become an "innie," so to speak. I've heard mixed things about this surgery, and I don't know if she'll be able to feel things the same way afterward. She's very sexual, and obviously I want to be able to do stuff with her, so this is a big concern. What will the aftermath of the surgery be like? What are the risks of the procedure? What can I do to help her get through this?

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"I don't care, I love you."

Posts: 4 | From: Nowhere | Registered: Nov 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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One thing to know is that if she's just started taking hormones, she's a long way from sexual reassignment surgery. In other words, you're having concerns about something that's pretty far into the future, maybe even further than the point that you'd still be involved with this person for, given the typical tenure of young adult relationships.

The bigger issue would be how you are right NOW when it comes to his transition and where she's at in it at the time. Same goes with how she feels being sexual right now, especially since if she's in transition, she's going to have some body image issues she's dealing with, and the hormones she's starting to take also will create some changes which may or may not make her feel comfortable being sexual period, or sexual in some ways. If she still has a penis, she may not want or enjoy having that stimulated sexually: or she may: it varies a lot, so that's just something to talk about first.

But just so you know, not only are far more than just our genitals our sexual organs and how we experience and enjoy sex, sexual reassignment surgery that includes genital surgery usually results in a person having genitals that have sexual function. Like any surgery, it carries risks, and sometimes mistakes can be made, but a good surgeon and a sound surgery will result in genitals with sexual function.

And when you understand that sexual sensation and experience is far more about our brains, nervous systems and our whole body -- and that genitals are just one of many places we feel those effects, and can have stimulated sexually -- it's easier to understand why even with genital surgeries, most people can enjoy sex just as much as they did before (if not more so: it can be tough to enjoy sex if you don't feel you're the sex you most identify with). In other words, without our brains, central nervous systems and cardiovascular systems at work -- and everything in our minds and hearts -- our genitals wouldn't have anything to offer us sexually in the first place. And if someone doesn't feel right in their own body, a change that makes them then feel right is only going to improve their sexuality. Get what I mean?

[ 11-20-2009, 12:29 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
MarissaTay
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I have a friend who transition from male to female & I even went to Thailand for her surgery. To be honest the surgery will on give good results provided your surgeon is well researched & she has no underlying medical issues that may hinder the outcome.

My friend went to Dr. Suporn in Chonburi, Thailand - this is the less commercialised resort town (equivilent to Phuket, except on the other side of the bay).

Dr. Suporn is considered one of the best GRS surgeons in the world & from the results my friend got, I can agree!

A lot of people associate Gender Reassignment Surgery with being a complicated & dangerous surgery, with a poor outcome, although it is quite a straight forward surgery, if the surgeon is well educated & experienced.

At Dr. Suporn my friend was given a completely natal looking Vagina, as Dr. Suporn is apparently the only surgeon in the world who can create the Labia Minor (inner lips of the vagina)which creates an authentic looking, but also authentic feeling vagina.

I ended up writing a school report on this for Biology, so if you need more information just reply here!

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Love All,

MarissaTay

Posts: 6 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Jul 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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