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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » Tell me what to do??

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Author Topic: Tell me what to do??
Member # 42989

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2 months ago my younger brother broke up with his gf because her gf is migrating. He cries from day to night and I can understand how hurt is he when we hug each other, furthermore this is his 1st relationship. Although I do my best by giving him support everyday but apparently it was useless. He always ask me to leave him alone and cry non stop.

My sister knew about this matter and she is willing to help us. She is able to console and motivate my brother well. And I notice my brother calms down a lot.

However, few days ago I saw my brother in tears went in to my sister room late night. I guess he's looking for her consolation again. But, the next morning I just can't imagine what I seen when I enter my sister room. I saw both of them naked and hugging each other. And worse, I notice there is an used condom on the floor.

I'm still in shock when I think of it as both of them are still young, my brother is just 15 and sister 19. I felt angry and embaress when both of them talk to me now because what they did was not sex, it is incest which I can't take it. I do not know who to talk to as I have no parent support and although I'm staying with my relative but they were busy with their family matter and work. I feel I'm useless too because I fail to guide my sibling since I'm the eldest. Tell me what should I do?

Posts: 10 | From: China | Registered: Jun 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 41657

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That's also quite an age difference, 15 year olds aren't necessarily too young to have sex, but with 19 year olds? Even if she wasn't his sister that's a meaningful power differential.

Always knock before entering my room when I am in there alone, as I may be doing all sorts of wonderfully thrilling things that I'd rather you didn't see.

Posts: 840 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I'd say the age difference is the least of the issues here.

I would be cautious not to leap too fast, however, especially since based on your post history, I have a concern that you may sometimes misinterpret things.

I'd say the place to start is by talking to the two of them to determine what really did (or did not) happen. Until you do that, I'd not be comfortable telling you what to do, particularly since false claims/reports of incest could seriously ruin a family.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 44481

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That's a really hard one. I'm definitely agreeing with Heather's advice. You really do have to talk to the two of them about what you saw. Despite how awkward or embarrassing it may be, you have to do it before making any kind of accusation.
If you do this you may also want to talk to them at the same time and very possibly to one at a time afterwards. But that's probably about as far as anyone can help you plan ahead until you know for a fact the truth.


Posts: 34 | From: BC, Canada | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
moonlight bouncing off water
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Member # 44338

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This is not something to forget about, I don't want to give you advice, other than take one of the experts' advice on this site or from some where else, but this is a big deal.


I am ME and that is the only label I need.

Posts: 864 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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