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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » in love and confused

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Author Topic: in love and confused
justus12
Neophyte
Member # 43330

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...i always knew i had a thing for girls also but i didnt want anyone to know basically i was introduced to my now very close lesbian friend through a mutual friend... but she would always flirt with me touch me or whatever and she somehow pulled the truth out of me and then i let it be known that i was also a lesbian after a while we started to become a little closer like going out to lunch together to going to different places together but only during work week not on weekends so as time continued to pass i began to like her which led to us spending time together including weekends like my family dinner going out to the movies and out to eat to get tattoos...etc it eventually became rumored that we were a item only in reality we were friends, so this other lesbian begins to work with us also and she liked my friend my friend said that the girl was annoying and creepy so i paid it no attention so i decided ok i need to tell her how i feel because it was becoming a bit much to handle due to my jealousy issues. in return i found out that not only did i like and love her she felt the same way about me but she didnt take me seriously because i have poor communication skills so i fell back a little now her and this other girl become super cool only for me to find out that they had sex and also this girl was paying bills for her so after i find out i became distant with my friend she tried cutting the girl loose only to feel sorry for her and they remain friends... so here we are going back and forth trying to empower my communication while being jealous to the point where we almost stopped talking so oneday we decide we're gonna give this a shot only for it to end after someone put out our "private" business which was supposed to have come from me....she gets fired i get laid off i find out that she has a gf i dont know who she is or if this relationship still exist she dosen't even mention her now we're back to this continous circle she loves me i love her we both still like eachother we spend more time together now we always and still do everything couple related except have sex but she still also has this other friend but whenever im around she lets it be known that she's with me at the time but i never once hear her mention this other girl but i know for a fact they still communicate.....as u can see im very much in love and confused is she playing/using me or can something possibly workout what should i do because i know that if i was to get into a relationship with someone else i cant continue treating her as if she was my girl but at the same time i only know how to treat her like that us just being regular day to day friends wont work because there is equal jealousy pls help!!!!!!!!!

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xoxo

Posts: 1 | From: raleigh nc | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JamsessionVT
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 17924

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Can you do us a huge favor and break this all up into actual sentences and smaller paragraphs? It's really hard to read this as a block and without proper punctuation. No biggie, but it would help us tremendously.

Thanks!

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Abbie
Scarleteen Volunteer
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Posts: 3987 | From: Greater Burlington Area, Vermont | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
branphlake
Neophyte
Member # 35071

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I'm going to do my best to give you an answer that may be suitable, but, honestly, I can't whole-heartedly say that I am right, because this sounds like a sticky situation.

What you need to do is muster up the courage to sit down with her and discuss what your feelings are. It sounds like she's with this "other girl," because they have some sort of connection that you don't have with her (mostly sexual from the sounds of it). You both sound like you want to the same things, but you just need to work it out verbally - this may be the time to take that leap of faith and put your feelings on the line. Don't get me wrong, you could totally get shot down and you may not end up getting everything you want from the experience. However! You should definitely tell her that you don't appreciate this "continuous circle" that is going on - it's not healthy for you and you want to know where she stands with you and with this other girl. It's really hard to stop being friends with someone you love, but if she can't give you an honest answer and take your feelings to heart, she isn't ever going to be an honest friend. For me, personally, this is when I draw the line with people and give them an ultimatum; "I need to know you care about me as much as I think you do, otherwise this is going to work."

This does not mean she needs to get rid of her other friends or that you have to stop being friends, but you need to know where she stands and how you are going to continue your relationship. If she wants to be with this other girl and be friends with you, then you are going to need your space, because, unfortunately, you may have to "get over her" as time progresses. It's hard, but no one should allow their best friends to play with their heart - be brave, tell her how you feel, let us know what happens. [Smile]

Posts: 23 | From: Boulder, CO | Registered: Aug 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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