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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » It's nothing new, but not outdated.

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Author Topic: It's nothing new, but not outdated.
unpleasant_visitor
Neophyte
Member # 41278

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EDIT: Just realised that this probably belongs in the 'GLBT Relationships' area. Pardon my inconsideration, is there any chance to change this?

There are a lot of similar threads on this board on coming out etc and I feel that what I'm about to say is nothing new. But I have the hardest part behind me and one else remains.

My parents, siblings and best friends know that I'm bisexual. That's the important part done and that's what really matters.

I don't think the whole college has to know, though I'm sure once I tell one person the entire school will know too. But I'm proud of who I am and if someone asks, I'd gladly answer.

But I'm not ready for that yet. First, I want to solve one important matter. I am in love with someone at my college and I want her to be the first to know. She's a friend, a new friend, but I feel a strong bond between us and I trust her.

Now to my question: Should I tell her I'm bisexual or not?
If I don't tell her, I'll never know if she secretely has feelings for me too. I'll never get the chance, will lose yet another oppurtunity.
But if I tell her, there's a chance she might reject me. And that risks our friendship.

Any feedback would be really helpful. Am mostly looking for people with experience in these areas, that seems to help the most... [Smile]

[ 11-26-2008, 03:34 PM: Message edited by: unpleasant_visitor ]

Posts: 3 | From: Antartica | Registered: Nov 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
bluejumprope
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First, congratulations on coming out to so many people.

I really think that if she doesn't want to be your friend after you tell her you're bisexual, then she's just not a good friend for you. A good friend would be happy to know more about you, and if she is a lesbian or bisexual and in the closet, then I'm sure she'd be especially happy to hear it.

You said there's a strong bond with her and you trust her. That sounds like the sort of relationship where, regardless of whether or not she's sexually interested in you, it would be positive to share this important fact about yourself.

--------------------
without tenderness, we are in hell. -Adrienne Rich

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unpleasant_visitor
Neophyte
Member # 41278

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Thanks, I've decided. First I'll tell a school colleague I trust in order to prepare for the big step. I might risk the whole college knowing this way, but I need someone else to talk to.

Then I'll tell her, but probably outside of school, in private. All that's left now is the guts to ask her out, but ah well. [Big Grin]

Thanks bluejumprope, I think I'm ready now.

Posts: 3 | From: Antartica | Registered: Nov 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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