So... Here's the deal. The closest thing I've ever had to a romantic relationship was a little bit of mutual flirting with a girl in my English class in middle school. However, a couple weeks ago, the girl I've liked for the past couple years told me that she's liked me for just as long, if not longer. After a day of incoherent happy squee feelings, I told her that I like her too. (This was not completely truthful of me. I'm pretty sure that I love her. I don't think this is an unreasonable thing to say, since we've known each other for about five years now, and been friends for a fair chunk of that time.)
I'm not really sure what all this is supposed to mean. So far what it has meant is us holding hands and hugging and being generally touchy-feely when we see each other, which is in and of itself a bit of a new thing for me, since I'm usually not big on physical contact.
Anyways, last night when I saw her she kissed me on the cheek. I'm kind of feeling some anxiety about this. I have pretty major insecurities, which I wasn't fully aware of until now, about anyone touching my face, in part because of my acne. Also, I'm having some (perhaps premature) worries of the "I don't know what I'm doing! What if I kiss her and I'm awful at it?" variety. I guess this isn't quite an issue yet, because I don't know that I want anything more than just hand-holding and being with her and talking to her right now. But I figure at some point it'll come up.
On the whole, I'm probably stressing out about this whole situation WAY more than is necessary, and my current insanely stressful school life, as well as my innate tendency to worry, is not helping. I can't help but feel a little bit as though I should have already been through the whole "awkward first relationship" thing by my age, and I shouldn't be having any of these issues, even though I know that's ridiculous. I guess I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed.
Posts: 406 | From: California | Registered: Jun 2005
| IP: Logged |
It's lovely to hear some romance! It's so cool that you've both liked each other for so long!
About the nervousness of beginning physical relationships; I'm getting that she probably likes you quite a lot to have been into you for such a lengthy period, and I'm betting she could be pretty receptive if you did say you wanted to start things slow... there are no emotions that someone of any age "shouldn't be having". There'd be nothing wrong with keeping the physicality low unless you start becoming more comfortable with it... you just need to talk about it with her.
Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998
Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.