posted
I looked through a bunch of old posts to see if I could find anything that would help me rather than just starting my own post, but I havn't found anything. So I'll start my own.
I have know my best friend for about five years, and I've had a crush on her off and on for about four of those years. After going through some pretty rough emotional stuff we became closer than ever. We've always been fairly flirty with each other, smacking bums, hugging, telling the other we love them, stuff like that. We grew apart two years ago, but in the past six months have gotten closer again.
At our prom (this past June) I was finally able to admit to myself that I did indeed like her. My dress was rather low cut, so she appointed herself Boob-Wrangler, incase of any mishaps. The morning after the prom I was talking to a mutual friend of ours and I told him of my predicament, by way of a small emotional breakdown. I liked her so much, but had no idea if she liked me back.
A few weeks ago, she came out as Bi. She said that although she liked ladies, she still liked men far more. I have been stuck in accepting my own semi-bisexuality for quite some time, so I decided to tell her that I was bi as well. This episode just served to further intesify my crush on her, as now there was a tiny possiblity that I might have a chance with her.
The crush faded again, as it often does, but then on the day before Halloween, I took the dress I sewed for her costume to her, and we stood in her house, face to face and it was all I could do not to tell her how I felt about her.
The thing is, I don't want to tell her in case I royally mess up our friendship, which means the world to me, because she's the first bestfriend I've really had. Before that my friends have all been like siblings; forces of competition, rather than someone I could totally bond with. She's also the first girl I've ever had a crush on, and since then, I've had crushes on other guys and have been attracted to other girls, but nothing as stong as what I feel for her. Am I confusing my platonic lover for her for romantic love? What should I do?
I give mad props to anyone who has made it through all of that, it's quite long I see.
posted
I've never been in a similar situation, so I really don't know what to say other than good luck!!
Posts: 25 | From: Atlanta | Registered: Oct 2007
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quote:Originally posted by woohaw: Am I confusing my platonic lover for her for romantic love? What should I do?
I'm having a very hard time coming up with answers for you here. It does sound like the two of you have a very close relationship and can communicate well but if what you're feeling is some platonic love and a crush, what is there to talk about? On the other hand, whatever you've got sounds mutual so it might be beneficial to talk to her and see how she's feeling.
What do you want to happen? What do you see as the best outcome for this situation? Is this crush causing problems for you?
-------------------- “I would have girls regard themselves not as adjectives but as nouns.” --Elizabeth Cady Stanton Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001
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posted
Honestly, You just have to go for it. I mean you never know what could happen right? And yeah there is a risk of it screwing up your friendship but I doubt that would happen. I dated someone for a good while that I was extremely good friends with and when we broke up it was really hard to remain friends but not were back to the same ole same ole and were good friends still. But If I hadnt gone for it, and told her how I felt I mean I dont know what couldve happen or what couldve came of it.
You have to take risk to get good rewards. Asking what ifs is never fun.
Good luck.
Posts: 154 | From: Seattle, WA | Registered: Jan 2007
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quote:...feeling is some platonic love and a crush, what is there to talk about?
I'm sorry, I'm afriad I don't understand what you mean. Platonic love is what you feel for a brother, or sister, and I do love her like that, but sometimes I feel like I like her more than that.
quote: What do you want to happen? What do you see as the best outcome for this situation? Is this crush causing problems for you?
I'm not entirely sure what I want to happen. I think that the best that could come out of this, would be that if I told her, that she wouldn't totally hate me and avoid me forever like she does when other people tell her that they like her.
Posts: 2 | Registered: Dec 2005
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