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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » Lesbian flirting tips!

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Author Topic: Lesbian flirting tips!
iAnastasia
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Member # 35598

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Theres a girl that I like alot and I really want to start flirting with her. But I've never flirted with another girl before! Can anyone help me? Plus, what are some signals that I can give her that I like her more than just a friend?

Thanks!

Posts: 34 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
PenguinBoy
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If you want to know what you'd do differently than when flirting with a man, then the answer to that is pretty much nothing! Be yourself, might be a cliché, but if you really click with someone, being honest and friendly will get you everywhere.

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Bonnie.N.Clyde
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I would definitely second that. Be nice to her! Smile. Ask her about her interests.

Best of luck!

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Austere
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I have this problem too. I'll be really attracted to a girl but I'm so bad at letting it out there... It's like auto-pilot to bottle it up and not even drop any hints, but when I do its way too straight-forward and therefore awkward for them.

I mean, there have gotta be someee specific things you can do? D:

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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I really don't think there truly is any special way of flirting with women than there is with flirting with anyone else.

I'll give you this: personally, I'm a very direct person -- some would say blunt -- with everyone, in every kind of situation, flirting and sex included. Has that been something that scared some folks off? Sure it has. Would I say it's scared off more women than men in a couple decades of dating both? Nah, I really wouldn't. And from what I can gather, not just from talking to friends, but talking to people about dating and mating in my work, my directness has tended to result more often in my being able to spend time with people I wanted to than people beating around the bush seems to, and it's also left me feeling more accepted when my attentions are welcomed, because I'm being myself throughout. So when folks are interested back, I can be pretty sure it's me they're interested in, not some game or persona.

That's just my own experience, but as usual, there's nothing that makes women as a group different than men as a group when it comes to this stuff, really. It's personality differences, more than gender differences. There's no one magical way to flirt with women that is somehow THE way: we're not monoliths.

If you like someone, you pay them attention. You're interested in what they have to say, you enjoy yourself around them. if you want to go on a date or pursue something sexual or romantic, you ask them out, either on a date alone or to hang out with friends. You see what kind of attention they pay you. You are courteous, you are attentive and responsive, you find some way of voicing that you've interest, but at some point, someone has to be direct, you know?

Does that mean things are awkward sometimes? Sure. But really, anything related to sex is often awkward: that's okay. When someone is really interested, they'll roll with it, even when it's awkward. When they're really interested, it really isn't that awkward at all. [Smile]

I do think that it's relatively safe to say that often women, in women-and-women community, tend to rely a bit more on references, as it were, than straight women do. After all, in queer community, it can be a lot easier to do that since we often all know each other, given how small our communities can be. If you feel like that's the case, then you can always hang out with the mutual friends of someone you like, and start things that way.

[ 11-01-2007, 01:03 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Austere
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I can't say I've ever flirted//know how to flirt with a guy either... (And I don't want to lol!!)
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Well, flirting really just means expressing a sexual or romantic interest in someone, it doesn't speak to HOW a person does that. So, that may mean very directly, with words, or with body language, the way one looks at someone, what have you.

I'm not sure it's something someone knows how to do, in any general way, because I can't imagine approaching every single person any of us would be interested in in exactly the same way. When we make social contact with anyone, it's a dance: we bring our steps that feel right to us, but do that while also paying mind to that other person, what they seem to be responsive to, and what seems comfortable for them.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About MeGet our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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