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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » sensitivity/tolerance question

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Author Topic: sensitivity/tolerance question
Leabug
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Member # 27966

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Hi everyone,

I'm just curious, I've got a lot of acquaintances and friends who are GLBT, and I'm really trying hard to rethink the way in which I treat/think about GLBT stuff, because I really don't want to offend anybody by accident through my own ignorance. (For example, I once pulled the classic really-really-bad-thing by saying that something stupid was "gay" in front of a gay friend... there's egg on my face, luckily he knows I'm trying really hard to purge myself of those homophobic habits and forgave me for the slip)

So anyway, what I'm curious about is, what sort of things do straight people often say or do in ignorance that REALLY annoy GLBT people (not stuff that's purposely derogatory, but things that people do because they don't KNOW it's offensive)?

Sorry if this is confusing, yet again I'm trying really hard not to offend anyone lol and it makes me babble a bit... it's just that sites like Scarleteen really make me think hard about the way I treat people- I try to be tolerant and find that this is ESPECIALLY important seeing as I'm Christian and really hate the whole homophobic-Christian thing and want to be an example against it...

Thanks! [Razz]


[EDIT: is this post itself somehow offensive?? I haven't had a response at all and figured this might be something someone would be eager to help me out with??]

[ 12-21-2006, 02:21 AM: Message edited by: leabug ]

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Lea

Posts: 2332 | From: Canada | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
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I can't see anything offensive about your post.

I think the best thing you can do is just be aware of the realities for glbt folks and acknowledge that some things are different for us and it's usually not in a good way.

That doesn't mean you can't get excited about a friend's wedding but it does mean that you should be aware not all of your friends have the option to get married. Making your speech and actions inclusive is a pretty good start.

It's also good that you're trying to remove the use of gay as a slur from your vocabulary. The next step is to speak up when you hear other people do it or use any other hate speech or even just say something completely inaccurate out of ignorance.

As long as your friends know you respect them and are trying to learn that best ways to show it, everything should be fine.

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pockyqueen
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honey, just the fact that you're trying to purge yourself of unintentional slurs warms the cockles of my heart. good for you! if only more people could be like you.

as for additional popular phrases that may be offensive to GLBT people, I think the "gay=stupid" thing is the most oft-used one. but sometimes I hear "he's such a ***//you're such a ***" in the hallway, and that offends me the most, because "***" also has religious connotations, and it makes me sick to hear it so often.

I can't think of any more right now, but if I remember anything else, I'll let you know [Smile]

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"You almost look like a... a.... not a woman..." -- Oriental Occultist, The Incredibly Cool Club

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catalinacisne
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One thing that gets me is assumed heterosexuality - like my uncle always asks me if I'm "seeing a fella," not even considering that I might actually be seeing a 'filly', so-to-speak. I would appreciate it if he asked me if I was seeing "anyone", instead of a specific gender.

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amawesome - (adj.) a combination of 'amazing' and 'awesome,' usually by someone who has tied on a few too many. Ex: No, dude, listen! I like, luv ya man! I mean, you're like, amawesome!

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jay_d
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(For example, I once pulled the classic really-really-bad-thing by saying that something stupid was "gay" in front of a gay friend... there's egg on my face, luckily he knows I'm trying really hard to purge myself of those homophobic habits and forgave me for the slip)

heh. I usually just use the phrase "that's so breeder" around them. Those who don't even blink can use any phrase they want...

...but I'm a nut, 'n that's off-topic.

So anyway, what I'm curious about is, what sort of things do straight people often say or do in ignorance that REALLY annoy GLBT people (not stuff that's purposely derogatory, but things that people do because they don't KNOW it's offensive)?

Well, let's see...

- never just assume someone is straight.

- never presume that the people around you face horrible social and political problems that you've never, ever have to confront or acknowledge.

- never, ever use the phrase "people like you" as the start of a sentence.

- never assume that what you've been told about "those people" is even slightly based in any reality.

...those are the big ones as far as I can think of them... the last one's the most common; I've met some very, very caring, loving, and tolerant str8 people whose every word was pinned on the foundation of some of the most ludicrously unbelievable stereotypes, and the sad thing is, they were honestly trying not to...

...but, unless you have some of the most grating tendancies on the planet, I might not worry that much about it... you'll probably get a lot of patience from the people around you just on the basis that you care about whether what you say hurts people... and the people around you will probably be more than happy to tell you if something you said is horribly offensive. [Wink]

Thanks for trying to make the world a better place.

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Leabug
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Thanks everyone for the feedback [Smile] I would've replied earlier but I was on vacation... but anyhoo, I just think it's really important to try and see things from others' point-of-views [Smile] Thanks again everyone!

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Lea

Posts: 2332 | From: Canada | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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