Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » Help!

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Help!
brokenhopesanddreams
Neophyte
Member # 29285

Icon 9 posted      Profile for brokenhopesanddreams     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Ummm, I wanna tell my mom about my sexuality. In fact I have a girlfriend, but I can't. I tried once and she was just "We'll talk later." And has diverted any convernsation I've tried to have since then. I just dunno what to do. Does anyone have any ideas?

--------------------
I dont' play the hero I never said I didn't know how.

Posts: 2 | From: Brunswick | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
How about writing her a note/letter?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
brokenhopesanddreams
Neophyte
Member # 29285

Icon 1 posted      Profile for brokenhopesanddreams     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
That's a good idea.... I didn't think of that.

--------------------
I dont' play the hero I never said I didn't know how.

Posts: 2 | From: Brunswick | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
catalinacisne
Activist
Member # 27839

Icon 1 posted      Profile for catalinacisne     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Or, if you're really determined, you could wait until you're in a situation where she can't leave (like driving on the freeway, for example) and no matter how much she tried to change the subject, just press on until you get it off your chest.

This would only be advisable if your desire to just tell your mom about your sexuality outweighs your desire for her to have a positive reaction.

--------------------
amawesome - (adj.) a combination of 'amazing' and 'awesome,' usually by someone who has tied on a few too many. Ex: No, dude, listen! I like, luv ya man! I mean, you're like, amawesome!

Posts: 65 | From: Colorado Springs, CO | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

Icon 1 posted      Profile for September     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
(Actually, I've heard from several sources that coming out in a moving vehicle, especially if you're not sure how the person will take it, is a Bad Idea. A friend of mine came out to her brother while he was driving her home from school and he ended up tearing down a mailbox.)

Writing a letter is always a good idea. A variation on that would be printing out information about homosexuality -or bisexuality- and leaving it somewhere where your mother is bound to find it. Even if she doesn't talk to you about it, you can be pretty sure that she's taken the hint. I used to leave books with obvious homosexual themes lying around, knowing that my mother tends to read the blurbs on the backs when she comes across one of my books. And if you want to be really bold about it, bring home your girlfriend and introduce her to your mother.

[ 06-09-2006, 04:19 AM: Message edited by: September ]

--------------------
Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Biguy(formerly AmberTS)
Neophyte
Member # 29192

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Biguy(formerly AmberTS)     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I kind of like the subtle hint idea...hmmm
Posts: 25 | From: United States | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ikeren
Activist
Member # 26880

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Ikeren     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Additionally, many driving courses recommend that you refrain from driving when angry or stressed, as it can effect your driving. If your parents are likely to get stressed over the courses of a conversation, I would suggest waiting until they are done driving a 1 tonne lump of metal at 100 kilometres per hour.

--------------------
19, male, interested in Sadomasochism (BDSM) and some bisexual tendancies.

Posts: 157 | From: Canada | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
daria319
Activist
Member # 19692

Icon 1 posted      Profile for daria319     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I have to agree, the car thing isn't a good idea. Depending on how mature, logical, and realistic your parents are, you could expect a variety of reactions -- a wreck, pulling off to the side of the road, speeding, getting thrown out of the car, along with a host of other things. Of course, they could react much less violently -- say, turning the radio up so they can't hear you.

Either way, a moving vehicle isn't too safe.

--------------------
"You owe me two lifetimes and a pair of perfect blue eyes."

Posts: 407 | From: Georgia | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
helpimconfuzzled
Activist
Member # 28953

Icon 1 posted      Profile for helpimconfuzzled     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I did the car thing, my mum was upset but luckily she cant drive, my dad knew sort of. and he didnt have an accident. but then again mine was a heat of the moment thing. I dont reall y reccomend it.
Posts: 91 | From: uk | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5375

Icon 1 posted      Profile for -Jill     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I really like the letter idea. It's one thing to want to come out but it's quite another to force someone to deal with something she just isn't ready to. A letter gives her a chance to deal with how she feels and prepare herself a bit before talking to you. This way, even if her first reaction is negative she can deal with that and hopefully have a better attitude when she is ready to discuss this with you.

Since it sounds like your mom doesn't want to talk about this I think bringing home a girlfriend is a very, very bad idea. If your mom doesn't react well it puts your girlfriend in an awkward position. You'll also be in a bad spot as that will likely be a bad time to talk calmly.

I think it's best to go about this in a considerate manner. I know it's hard to keep your mom in the dark and to not have her support but I think the best way to get that support is by showing her some.

Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3