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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » Relationship Over, what now?

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Author Topic: Relationship Over, what now?
RainbowSox
Neophyte
Member # 26199

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So my girlfriend of a little over a month broke up with me this past week. I was a little weepy for a couple of days, and now I'm still kind of bummed, but I'm going to be alright eventually. We didn't see each other much (she lives about an hour away) and didn't talk on the phone too often.

However, she was the longest relationship I've ever been in (the first and only other being with my now friend Tom for 6 days) and the first with a girl. What I felt for her was ultimately very different from what I've felt for guys, and is pretty much the strongest romantically inclined feelings I've had. I've had crushes on guys before but I've never wanted to date them (I know, this makes little sense. I crush on them for a while, and then when they want to date me I totally freak out and can't do it). This didn't happen with her. She wasn't my first kiss (well, first serious kiss with a girl, she was) but it feels like she was- I don't know if that makes any sense.

I just feel flat about everything. Not sad, not glad to be out of it (certainly not), just flat. And at this moment I can't imagine being with anyone else, male or female (although I'm starting to think I lean a little more towards the 4 end of the scale). Not that I'm going to, or anything. I dont' plan to date for a while. Has anyone else been through this? I'm sure it's completely normal, but then, I wouldn't know due to my utter lack of experience.

Thanks, Sox (I'm female, I don't know if that came through)

Posts: 4 | From: Portland, OR, US | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
catalinacisne
Activist
Member # 27839

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I've been through somehting similiar with someone of the opposite sex, and am fairly sure the break-up feelings translate to an extent.

I definitely had that flat feeling, (I referred to it as "numb" at the time) and didn't want to date for a long time. And I didn't, for a year and... *counts* three months. It took me 8 months to really "get over" him (and I still get a little upset when I hear our song), but part of that was because I saw him every single day (we went to school together/did the same afterschool activities), and I layed witness to him flirting with everything with boobs (and penises, for that matter), which sucked. Luckily you won't have to go through that.

Long story short (too late), this feeling is normal, and will eventually pass. The more you mope around and focus on what you've lost, the longer it will take for you to get back in the game. And remember, once you are in a good place again, always focus on the good parts of the relationship. Otherwise you really will never date again.

Hugs and Your Comfort Food of Choice,
Caitlin

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amawesome - (adj.) a combination of 'amazing' and 'awesome,' usually by someone who has tied on a few too many. Ex: No, dude, listen! I like, luv ya man! I mean, you're like, amawesome!

Posts: 65 | From: Colorado Springs, CO | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
deja tha drama queen
Neophyte
Member # 27956

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Although, I haven't been in a relationship with a girl(unless you count my step sis), I know how you feel. I've dated a lot of boys and know what a heartache feels like. Convert that sadness into somehting productive, like dancing, or painting or writing. Release your spirit with the arts. What you can do is write your feelings down,pour your whole soul out that sheet(s) of paper. When you're done, crumble it up. Its like throwing away your sadness. Hope you find someone like your ex-girlfriend very soon.
Love(or hate),
Deja
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXO

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~God made water, God made dirt, God made boys so girls can flirt.~
~Lesbians are sooo hot.~

Posts: 5 | From: somewhere | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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