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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » Should I or shouldn't I???

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Author Topic: Should I or shouldn't I???
Member # 26760

Icon 5 posted      Profile for crazybabe313     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Okay i really need some advice. My friend i told you about a while ago (the gay/bi whatever he can't make up his mind one)let's call him Tony, that i thought kinda liked me (a girl) broke up with his boyfriend about a month and a half ago. They're still friends and i was good friends with his bf (let's call him David) but the past few months he has shown a NOTICEABLE disinterest in me (David). He won't return my calls or anything so basically i just gave up. So i guess we're not friends anymore.
Well i had just recently began liking Tony, and he always kinda acted like he liked me--just a little. Well we were on the phone the other day and i had to ask "Do you miss me?" (We haven't hung out in a while) and he's like "Yeah you're so much fun" and i'm like "Yeah i've tried to get ahold of you and David but you've been busy" and he's like "Yeah i noticed but yeah i miss you, you're so awesome"
Let me back up to say that Tony doesn't have a car, so whenever we'd get together it would be myself, David, and Tony (back when they were dating and David and I were good friends--that's how i met Tony in the first place) with David driving. So in shortened terms when we hung out it was always 3 of us, and Tony and I were NEVER alone. And personally if i ever sat next to Tony, or joked around or ANYTHING, David would get all mad and be like "Don't look at Tony!" or, "Don't touch him like that!" you know just little stuff.
Well anyways i have a couple of questions to ask:

1) How would i come across asking Tony to hang out (it would be the first time we have been alone) without looking weird? Because usually when we used to hang out it would be David, myself, and Tony, but David and him are splitsville, and David and I aren't even friends anymore. Would he take it in a weird way? What do you suggest i do, or say? Or should i say nothing at all? He is not the type to come to me.

2) If i do come around to asking him to hang out (nothing special, maybe a walk, or going somewhere where we could talk) should I tell him how i feel? Or wait? And how long should I wait? i really like him

3) if i tell him how i feel, he might think i'm dumb for trying, especially if he is bi? He is sometimes attracted to girls, but he is moreso attracted to males. Is it worth the risk of being humiliated or looking dumb?

I really like him and would like a relationship with him but I just don't know what to do! Help please!!!

I'm sorry how long this is but i'd appreciate as much input as possible.


[This message has been edited by crazybabe313 (edited 01-26-2006).]

Posts: 26 | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 27099

Icon 10 posted      Profile for Peaches44     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
So many questions and so few definite answers. I don't think anyone could ever tell you exactly what to do.

It seems like David has been upset with the prospect of you and Tony liking each other for a while (before the two of them broke up) and I don't know if that would change now after they have split. If you DO pursue a friendship (or more) with Tony you should be prepared for David to not be okay with it. He may not be upset at all by it but then again he may be so just make sure you are ready for how to deal with it if David has a problem.

Now whether or not you should hang out with Tony or tell him how you feel is slightly more shady. You really have to decide for yourself on that one. The best advice I could give would be: he said he likes to hang out with you and said you are fun to be with right? so why don't you hang out with him as friends a bit more and then decide whether or not to tell him you like him. You might get a better idea of whether he is interested in a relationship by spending some good one-on-one time with him (starting out as friends mind-you). Don't feel so rushed to declare your feelings for him. You will know when the best time to do it is. It can't hurt to take your time right??

Other than that, you are probably in a much better position to figure out what to do about anything here. Good-luck though, hope everything goes well.

[This message has been edited by Peaches44 (edited 01-27-2006).]

Posts: 50 | From: Alberta Canada | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 26760

Icon 7 posted      Profile for crazybabe313     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Wow thank you so much Peaches your input was very helpful! I guess i will go ahead and try to build a friendship, whether or not David wants us to. Like you said, the only person that's gonna know what i should do is me, but thanks to you i at least have a better understanding. Again, thanks so much!
Posts: 26 | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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