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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » "Coming Out" to my mom

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Author Topic: "Coming Out" to my mom
Member # 27145

Icon 9 posted      Profile for Rin07     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Im 16 and a junior in high school and Im bi. Only 5 people know, one of who is bi also. It was hard telling them but i really want to tell my mom but im scared. My family is very religious and my mom is always telling people about how perfect i am and i really don't want to disappoint her. Should i tell her or just wait till i graduate. I really want a relationship with a girl but how will i do it without telling my mom. I don't think she'll hate me cause she's kinda understanding towards other people but i don't want to ruin her "perfect" image of me.
Posts: 1 | From: Charleston, SC, United States | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 26880

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There is nothing wrong with being bisexual, it doesn't make you imperfect.

It sounds like your mom would be very understanding and loves you a lot; I wouldn't stress about it too much.

As for perfectionism - If your mom wants you to be perfect, and assumes you are thus, and you try to be perfect and live up to this expectation, I think it will only cause problems. Everyone makes mistakes, and the true sign of perfection is learning from them. Being bisexual is no mistake, but if your mom is upset by any other "mistake" you make, simply tell her "I can't be perfect, I just can do the best I can, and learn from the mistakes I do indeed make". Nobody can do anything more.

Good luck!

I am a 17 year old male practitioner of BDSMLNOPQRSTUV...
LeVay Satanism composes approximately 40% of my religious beliefs. I agree with approximately 40% of LeVay Satanism.
I am a sadist (60%) I am a masochist (40%)
I am bisexual, or bipermissive. (75% heterosexual, 25% homosexual).

I seek no conflict outside my bedroom walls.

Posts: 157 | From: Canada | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 27173

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I understand how you feel, and I wouldn't recommend starting a relationship with a girl without coming out to your mom first. Having her respect and support makes relationships easier with other people, because you know that no matter what, she'll always be there for you. Plus, you won't be sneaking around behind you're mom's back with a girl. That's harder on you and your partner.

I'm fifteen years old, a sophomore in high school, and I've been in a relationship with a girl since New Years. I have yet to come out to my parents (they're both homophobics).

Trust me. Don't start a relationship until you've gained the support you'll need from your mom.

Also, being bisexual should not break this image your mom has. You're human. And she should love you for who you are, despite whether you're bisexual.

[This message has been edited by dark_soul (edited 01-24-2006).]

Posts: 1 | From: Asheville, NC, USA | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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