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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » Too young? Help!

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Author Topic: Too young? Help!
Member # 10181

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I've always had a close relationship with my parents, and I came out to them over a year ago.
They have always been quite supportive, but have always told me to 'think about who I come out too, and be careful' Which is fine, because I know that they just want me to be careful because they care about me.
Now I have started college, and I want to go to a gay night at a club.
My parents say that its fine if I want to go to the club on any other night, as long as they can pick me up, but have said that I can't go to the gay night because I'm too young!
The night is for 16+ people, so there will be people my age there -I'm 16- and I'm going with friends, under exactly the same conditions as any other night.

I don't understand why the fact that its a gay night makes a difference, and I would never have expected this reaction from them.

I feel so frustrated and I don't know what to do- am I being unreasonable?

Posts: 123 | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 5822

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It seems a lot of parents have this conception of "gay nights" in clubs as being seedy, sexually orientated, drug addled, you name it it's there.

And sometimes it is.

Just like sometimes it is with straight nights.

Unfortunately, it has greater emphasis when a young person is gay.
Sweetie, I have had countless similar experiences like your own, and I find the best thing to do is talk to them about it.

Assure them that it's just a club, with ordinary people who happen to be gay. Assure them you'll stay with your friends, that you'll all stick together, that you'll only get a lift home with your parents or with one of your friends. Make all the assurances you would if this was a "straight night" but double them.

I got around my parents by just explaining, keeping lines of communication open, builiding up a trust, it's come to a stage where there is no argument now, because my mam trusts me not to allow anything I see to lead me into more trouble than I should be in at my age.

Talk to them again, but, you also have to face facts. If they won't let you go, then I don't think sneaking out the bedroom window at night will help matters, and will guarantee no changing of their minds for the next night.

Good luck.

Posts: 896 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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