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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » Confused

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Author Topic: Confused
onenonlyl2
Neophyte
Member # 14587

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Well this site def. helps me realize that there are so many ppl goin through some of the same things as i am. About a year and a half ago i got involved with a girl after she told me she had feelings for me..she never knew she felt this way about girls till she met me..shes 19 and im 16.. i always wondered about bein with someone of the same sex but never felt anythin towards a girl.. untill then.. weve had a hard relationship.. she left for college and i then realzied how much she meant to me.. we didnt really get to see eachother except at christmas.. this sumemr she came home for good but is now moving to flordia.. Last year was the hardest year of my life.. i never knew i could go through so much pain.. Throughout the time we talked we were off and on and i was really hurt by her we just broke things off for good and im not sure how i feel about that.. I love her and i always will but i dont think it would ever work out since of our age difference and where we are in life..untill she moves away i cant even see her because it hurts so bad.. just talkin about her makes me cry.. someitmes ai wish i could just take back everything to spare myself the pain that shes put me through.. i just dont know how to deal with things anymore
Posts: 4 | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kara Zor-El
Activist
Member # 14499

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It sounds like you're dealing with things in a very normal, healthy way. You're feeling the pain of your break-up, you're letting the tears fall, and you're reaching out for advice.

I've had relationships very similar to yours. Most of the girls I've dated have been older -- I recently broke up with a 19 year-old (I'm 17) who went to college with my brother but she lives in L.A. (I'm in NYC), so I totally understand how hard the long distance thing is. Plus this girl turned out to be freakin' straight and she was just experimenting with me. She never wanted to go out in public, not even to just see a movie, and forget about any public displays of affection. She just wanted to keep me as her dirty little secret so I dumped her.

So do I have any regrets? Nope. And neither should you. I understand your wish to undo the whole mess but you can learn a lot from this experience. Promise yourself you won't make the same mistakes in your next relationship. I hope you have enough of a sense of closure in order to move on.

Good luck,
Kara


Posts: 123 | From: New York City | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
onenonlyl2
Neophyte
Member # 14587

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Thanks..it was actually kinda freaky readin that cause that turns out to be her name.. but i no i shouldnt regret anything and in all of this happening ive learned alot about myself and the person who ive grown to be
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Kara Zor-El
Activist
Member # 14499

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Oh, wow, your friend's name is Kara? Sorry to freak you out there, sweetie, that's not my real name anyway I've always liked that name -- I want to name a daughter Kara someday.

I'm glad that you're learning about yourself. The worst thing is getting stuck in a cycle -- so destructive. Whenever you realize that whatever is attracting you to a certain pattern of behavior is causing more harm than good (My penchant for going after straight chicks, for instance), it's easier to want to break the cycle. I mean dating and love and sex are supposed to be fun, right? When pain outweighs the fun, it's just not worth it anymore.


Posts: 123 | From: New York City | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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