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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » i miss her

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Author Topic: i miss her
jodie555
Neophyte
Member # 14400

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i started talking to this woman (rachael) because she knew a friend of mine (gemma)a friend who i had slept with once and who i really care about but gemma really likes rachael and now i do too and even though i promised her i wouldnt even flirt with rachael i did and i even met her last week and we spent a few amazing days together then i had to leave and iv fallen in love with her i have never felt like this about anyone before and she says she loves me too but she has a girlfriend who she says she thought she loved but that shes never felt as much for her as she does me but one problem is she lives about 400 miles away from me and we would not be able to see each other very often and already i miss her like crazy and i know it would get worse another problem is gemma who would be really hurt if she found out.

sorry for it being so long but what should i do?


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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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You have far more than one problem or conflict.

1. You reneged on a promise you made to a friend.
2. Rachel already has a partner (who I'll prsume she doesn't have an agrrement with to have other partners -- feel free to correct me if I'm mistaken).
3. You have a long distance.

And to that list, we can probably add:
4. You can't clearly assess any of this because the context is so full of drama and conflict, you're not going to be able to have a clear perspective on anything.

truly, it's amazing how easy it is to mistake love for riding the wave of high drama.

So, how about this: work it out with Gemma in terms of being straight with her about what you've done. Ask Rachel to do the same with her partner. Both of you need to be honest with both those people, period.

Then you two can talk after that and see where you really stand, but FYI, friends don't let friends become U-Haul lesbians, so after a two-day date, if you're even considering one of you moving, get a grip, get grounded, get real and give it all real, honest time.

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


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