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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » what am i up against?

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Author Topic: what am i up against?
Member # 12614

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i'm 16, bi, and three weeks into my first relationship with another girl. so far, everything's great, but i'm worried about going back to school. i know predjudice differs some from school to school, but i've been wondering what other female/female couple have been up against. is there any girl out there who's been in a relationship like this in highschool who can give me an idea of how people might react to us? thanks ^^;;


Posts: 2 | From: VA, USA | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 14165

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Well to be honest, I was never in your type of position. However, just this past year of high school, 2 girls came out as a couple, and they even displayed their own affection for one another in front of every1. In all sincere honesty, not one student seriously harassed them for it. Yes, at first it was weird to every1 and they did say things, but as they got used to it, it didn't matter as much as I would have thought. Given I go to a rather small high school, where every1 has grown up together, and are very closely linked, which may have helped the situation more. But I would say, out of seeing something like this firsthand, that u should just go for it. Don't let anything or any1 hold u back from something u feel so strongly about. If its who u are and what u want in order to make u happy and fulfill ur life in some sort of way, then just do it... u never know what good may come out of it until u try.
Posts: 4 | From: New Jersey | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 7365

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I don't want to be the negative one here, but you should also prepare yourself for the worst. At my school, a lesbian couple was harassed constantly, and even the administration was unsupportive, mostly telling them to "tone it down." All in all though, it depends on your school and the people there. And if you have any problems, go to your guidance counselor and see what can be done to help stop the harassment. Good luck.

Art is why I get up in the morning, but my definition ends there. You know it doesn't seem fair, that I'm living for something I can't even define" - Ani D.

Posts: 88 | From: Hixson, TN, US | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 9895

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you know... i think it varies. at my middle school, i was dating another girl, and we got gossipped about. but that was middle school and people were stupid back then. in my freshman year, i was and still am dating a girl that lives in another city. not everyone knows, but the ones that do are pretty cool about it. there's no lesbian couples at our school though, unless i'm out of the loop. so i don't know if i'm much help to you.

libido ergo sum.

Posts: 81 | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 5822

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It will honestly depend on your school and the type of people that are attending your school.

Do you know of anyone else in a same sex relationship who are out at your school?

If you do, could you talk to them? Ask them what their experience was like. I'm sure you would probably know yourself, but they might be able to.

If not, then you'll just have to test the water.

Don't put yourself in danger. Don't be reckless.

Test the water, see how it goes. Try and gage people's reactions. Play it safe for a while. See how that goes.

Posts: 896 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 13490

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It really depends upon your school's atmosphere. I live in a pretty conservative community, so I get a lot of looks and whispers from people when I'm with my girlfriend. But, it's also a pretty big school, and for the most part people have left us alone. More importantly, I think you need to talk to your girlfriend about it--make sure she's comfortable with affection and openness in school, and ask her what she thinks about it (if you haven't already, of course). You might not want to walk into school with your hands all over each other and constantly swappin' spit (let's face it, we don't want to see that from anyone), but I think, for the most part, no one will freak out if you're just holding hands or something.

Unfortunately, and especially if you're the only girl/girl couple around, the administration might not let as much slide in the way of PDAs as with heterosexual couples, so you have to be careful. You probably will face some negative reactions, but if anything gets out of hand, with students or faculty, let the proper counselor/principal know.

Hope this helps. Stay out of trouble, okay? =P

Posts: 9 | From: Cypress, CA | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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