Well, I never hit the 500 mark, but in my lifetime, I have had a LOT of lovers, most of them by the time I was in my mid-twenties. I will say, 500 lovers is a number that's going to give anyone pause. That is an awful lot of people, and if he's a young guy, that says you're talking about someone literally having a new lover every couple of days for years. So, it's no big shocker you're a bit floored.
In my case, if it adds anything, I don't think it was a matter of a lack of control and self-respect, it was a matter of being very social and very sexual and very adventurous. And some folks just like aspects of casual sex. I know I did. Some of them, I still do. I don't have so many partners anymore primarily because I don't have the time or the desire to (or the attention span), and the older I get, the less fun or interesting very casual sex tends to become. I'd not leap to the conclusion that your boyfriend must be lacking discipline or self-respect unless:
a) all that sex, or a good deal of it, was patently unsafe,
b) HE felt he couldn't/can't control himself and has an impulse control problem
c) He had no life outside of this at all
d) He wasn't that interested in what he was doing or the people he was involved with, and was on a sort of auto-pilot...
I could go on, but what it'd boil down to is that you're only likely to get answers to this and your feelings by talking to him and asking him about this. And people evolve and grow, so even if those things were once issues, they may or may not be issues anymore.
It's okay to say to a lover, "I'm daunted by the number of previous partners you have (especially in this case) and it makes me worry about -- insert worries here." I've had a few partners in my life say that to me, and it's totally okay, and I'm totally okay addressing whatever fears they may have, many oif which are perfectly valid (especially when it comes to infections and disease, as well as general fickleness).
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen
My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
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