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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » GLBT friendships

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Author Topic: GLBT friendships
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5460

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Friendships are a sort of relationship, so... let's talk about queer friendships. Are you straight with queer friends? Are you queer with straight friends? Does it even matter to you, or do you find yourself gravitating towards friends who have the same or similar sexual orientations?

Feel free to use this topic to discuss other GLBT-related friendship issues, as well.

Posts: 1685 | From: New York City | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 11180

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Personally, I'm queer with mostly straight friends. I have one bisexual friend and a few seem to be questioning.

Their sexual orientation really makes no difference to me. It's only one facet of their being, there are more important reasons to choose friends than if they're queer or not.

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Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

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I've got a few gay male friends and a few bisexual galpals. The only time their sexual orientation has ever come into play was in the discussion of sexually attractive individuals. My bi galpals have on occasion acknowledged a vague interest in me sexually (on the level of, "if only you liked girls, we could *so* hook up"), but they know I don't go that way, and no, it doesn't bother me if they think I'm cute. As for my gay guy friends, we can have fun looking at men and talking about it.

I've not ever had one of these freindships threatened by a hostile envirnment, and to my knowledge, they haven't faced too much homophobia or the like.

May suffering and pestilence befall the %$@! who broke into my car.

Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 13069

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I'm Bi and I only really have 2 close friends who are bi (one won't do anything about her attraction to girls since many of the people she hangs around with are quite homophobic) some are questioning and others are straight.

I do know quite a lot of homophobic people, but they have suprised me alot (well some) by being really supportive and understanding after they realised I am bi. For example one of my closest friends is a devoted christian, though she feels the need to preach to me now and then she understands that it is part of me and my sexual orientation does not change me into some sort of freak.

Many others have been very supportive and have changed the way they have orignally thought about GLBT people. I suppose I'm very lucky in this respect.

Though I believe that a persons sexual orientation is not all that there is to them I do find that I in social situations, I tends to be drawn into conversation with other fellow GLBT people. On some level I suppose it's becuase I feel that they understand me better. But it would not give up my straight friends for the world. They where there for me and for some strange reason knew my bisexuality before I figured it out. I feel that it is important to have a good mix of different minds and perspectives amongst friends for people alway suprise me, and well quite frankly, a life without suprises- good or bad is not a life I want to lead.

oops...sorry about the babbling- but I have a tendancy to do that! ;P

I have always been of the opinion that consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginatice - Oscar Wilde

Posts: 8 | From: London,UK | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 10181

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I don't tend to think about it really. Orientation doesn't really come into it in my mind, I just have friends!
I have gay male friends, bi female friends, straight friends, and i dont find i get on better with any particular orientation.
Maybe its because I'm a teenager and most of my queer freinds aren't out yet, but I usually find I have to be friends with someone before they tell me their orientation, so I never really think about it that much when I'm beginning a new friendship.

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Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I tend to crave a mix of queer friends and straight friends, myself.

I don't so much feel I'm missing out on things with my straight friends, but there are issues which truthfully, my straight friends just don't have much to offer on because it's outside their frame of reference, no matter how empathetic they may be. And sometimes, not having to provide that frame of reference or queer backstory is truly nice.

But I don't think I've ever adapted myself much for any given group: my friends are my friends because they love me for who I am and likewise, so.

Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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