Allright, some background first- I'm a 16 year old lesbian. Whenever anyone asks me if i'm a virgin, i have to ask them what their definition of virgin is. I have never head penis-vagina intercourse (or penis-anything intercourse, for that matter), and don't forsee it at all in my future. However, i have had sex with girls- oral and fingering. some say no penis means i'm a virgin, but that seems incorrect, since i've had quite a healthy sex life. others say i'm not, since i've gone as far as i can go as a lesbian. What do you think? what's your definition of virginity? Ever see that scene in Chasing Amy, on the swings? that sort of thing. --Amy (rabidferret)
------------------ ...Amy [quote]'tis better to be hated for who you are, than loved for who you are not.[quote]
On a personal note, I don't define virginity in any context other than the historical, and when discussing it as a concept others use. In other words, I have never had any personal defintion, because I find the concept abhorrent, misogynistic and flatly, dehumanizing and reductionist.
I was a rape victim at an early age. And -- like you, rabid -- I had boyfriends and girlfriends both (and many of them) who I was sexually active with well before I had penis/vagina intercourse. And when I had consensual intercourse, it wasn't any more different for me when it came to sex than, say, driving is different from one car or one street to another: different view, different feel, different color, still driving.
So, I never used that term or concept in relation to my sexuality because it held absolutely no meaning or relevance for me whatsoever. And if you don't find it has for you either, you don't HAVE to put yourself in its context -- you can simply say that it isn't something you find has meaning, or that you protest the notion of it (if you do), or that you just don't think sexuality and sex is so simple as that.
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