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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » good, bad or evil

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Author Topic: good, bad or evil
roziline
Activist
Member # 11078

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I haven't posted in a while, but i do look at the forum and see whats new quite a bit. So i'm still alive incase you were wondering.

Ok, so here is the situation. I have already told you guys about the girl i met, who i adore and would do anything for. She knows i like her alot (she doesn't think i love her) and she is straight so nothing can come of it all. Anyway, I met a girl who is herself bi. We've started going out. I asked her yesterday.

I have a couple of reasons for going out wth her.
- To get over the girl i was talking about
- To experience what a relationship is like with another girl
- I like her (not strongly, i wouldn't have noticed if she was straight)

My brother said i might grow to like her over time more than i do now. Anyway question time guys.

Is my going out with this girl wrong? because my main reason is to get over the other girl. And am i using her? because in theory i am using her to get over somebody else.


i just read through this... i sound rather shallow

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Isn't it ironic. Don't you think?


Posts: 68 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Sounds like you already know that going out with her would essentially be using her, roz.

Certainly if the impetus is to "get over someone else." Not only does that not work, it's just not a nice thing to do to anyone.

As well, what a relationship "is like with another girl," is going to vary depending on EACH girl. A relationships with this girl is going to prepare or inform you no more for relationships with other women than a relationship with any random boy would.

If you want a very casual relationship right now, for the reasons above, despite the fact that they're pretty dicey, I'd say this: can you tell this girl all of these things right out comfortably ("I don't like you ALL that much, I really want to get over someone else, and I'm curious about dating girls and figured I'd start with you simply because you're available to me,")? Do you think she'd still want to date knowing all of that? Could you even tell her all of that?

If not, you've got your answer right there.

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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