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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » Sheltered

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Author Topic: Sheltered
Member # 11180

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I figure this is the best forum for this.

Now, I came out as a bisexual to my mom a little while ago. Since then, she has made it clear that I am not to participate in any gay activities (including going to GLBT youth support groups, founding a GSA at my school, etc. etc.), come out to anyone else, or date other females until I am at university (I am a freshman in highschool.)The reasons she gave was my protection (which I understand, but my understanding stops because she thinks that university is a haven of safety for GLBT people), was worrying if my homophobic father would find out, and worrying if anyone would recognize me (eps. kids from my father's work, who have only seen me once in their entire lives)

I do not want to go around her orders in any case, but how should I go and try to convince her that I feel that it is necessary for me to discuss this with and be around other GLBT people?

Posts: 23 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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How about including her at first?

Is there a PFLAG meeting near you? Maybe the next town over so SHE can feel a little more secure?

Really, there is a reason suicide rates among GLBT youth are escalated, and some of that has to do with what you're describinng. I'm not suggesting you say that exactly, but impressing upon her the importance of you getting some community seems key here.

You might want to suggest this scenario to her: if she can imagine when she grew up, having no STRAIGHT friends, no groups of heterosexual people to talk about feelings with, no support in her school for being heterosexual. It would be pretty intense. On the inverse it can feel pretty darned terrible. No one likes to feel like someone's dirty secret.

Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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