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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » Help!!

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Author Topic: Help!!
Member # 10168

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For the past year i have been sleeping with one of my best friends(a girl). Although i did have a boyfriend, we split up a few months ago, and ever since i seem to be sleeping with my friend more frquently. We only do this when we get drunk (which seems to be happening a lot lately), it's like we use the drink as an excuse to sleep with each other. But now i find myself thinking about her all the time and it's driving me crazy coz i like her a lot, but i am afraid to tell her coz it may ruin our friendship and that would be the worst as i care a lot about her. I don't know what to do.... could you please give me some advice???
Posts: 8 | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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Member # 568

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first off, STOP DRINKING so you can act like yourself. Alcohol is a pretty poor excuse for anything, and if you are not of legal age, you should not be doing it anyway.

If you really care about your friend and want something to happen, you need to tell her how you feel (while sober, so she knows it's YOU and not the booze talking). Otherwise, you have no chance of getting anywere. Yes, it is a gamble because if she doesn't feel the same way you can't do much. But look at it this way: how do you want her? Are you truly, honestly content to be "just friends" or do you really want to be more than that? If you can deal with being just friends and absolutely nothing more, then you can keep it all in your head. But if you want a chance at making something happen, you have to be honest with her about how you feel.

If you want more input from users, we can move this to GLBT Relationships for you.

Don't be coward like shrimp, be brave like PRAWN!

Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 10168

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I know that we need to cut out the alcohol but we both use it as an excuse to get with each other.We'll sleep together, go to bed together and wake up the next morning although sober we'll still be huggin, kissin and other stuff, but when we're out of the bed its like it never happens. So i don't know it's not all one sided i do want to speak to her but its really difficult to bring up.
Another thing is that we have a close circle of friends that wouldn't really understand and to be honest i don't think either of us want to do anything that doesn't seem normal around everyone else, i just want to fit in with everyone but i want her too, i think i love her.
Sometimes i wish it was just me, her and no one else

Posts: 8 | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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If you need an excuse, or need to be intoxicated for it to feel right, it very likely it ISN'T right. And if she's pretending it isn't happening, it should be clear it really isn't for her yet (to boot, the way booze works, it's very unlikely to go to sleep wasted and wake up completely sober -- it takes longer than that to leave your system).

Why not slow it down and find a pace for both of you that IS right for you right now?

Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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