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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » dating in the closet

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Author Topic: dating in the closet
blackravyn
Neophyte
Member # 8629

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help me, im bi, its still new to me, but my friends are already playing match maker. i am 16, and have spent the last nine months coming to terms with my sexuality. my parents still have absolutely no clue, and i'd like to keep it that way, at least for a little longer. well, now, my friend wants to set me and her lesbian friend up, and i have no clue how to handle it. i've never dated a girl before, and i have no clue how to act. i dont know if i act different than i would with a guy, or if i just relax and go with the flow. her friend seems really eager to meet me, and i'm equally eager to meet her , i'm just nervous, and need a little advice.

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if it has really big fangs, it's a killer rabbit! - monty python

[This message has been edited by blackravyn (edited 06-12-2002).]


Posts: 9 | From: norfolk, va, us | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
froggish
Activist
Member # 6370

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The thing I usually do when I'm in this situation (meeting a gay friend of a friend...) is just act as if I'm meeting my friend's friend. If it ever happens to lead to anything, my opinion is that it makes things much easier if you start out as friends. Go out in a group at first, if possible, and just see how things work out. Relax, enjoy yourself, be friendly to her (as opposed to playing hard to get, or not wanting to seem interested, or whatever)...Remember, it's important to have fun, so don't be too uptight.
I wish you the best of luck!

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~*frog*~


Posts: 41 | From: Chicago | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
momomo
Activist
Member # 8636

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I DONT KNOW HOW TO MEET GIRLS! AHHHHH. sorry. I know this isn't my topic but I try not to start too many topics and this one was related.... okok i have a boyfriend but i know at this age it wont last long.... see I know im bi but.... no one else does... it's nice that way...at least for now... so i can't run to my friends to set me up or anything how do i do it on my own? I really don't want to offend someone by totally hitting on them and having them be all "im straight"... i dunno help anyone?
MO

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froggish
Activist
Member # 6370

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This is simply coming from my own experience. Are you in highschool? Looking back, I wish that I had just taken it easy with the whole meeting girls thing, because it caused a lot of anguish and hurt (like, my friends were all dating, all my crushes were straight, etc.)...but I found that when I got to college, it was full of new people, and quite a lot of queer chicas. Just like with any "straight" relationship, it takes time to meet someone, and if you focus so strongly on meeting someone to date, it makes it very hard. Just go with the flow, make friends, get to know people...and before you know it, you may be dating a girl.
And for the time being, is there a gay/straight alliance or some kind of organization at your school or in your hometown? Those can be good places to meet people...and it doesn't have to be a big proclamation of your sexuality, either.

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~*frog*~


Posts: 41 | From: Chicago | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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