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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » what to do?

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Author Topic: what to do?
Member # 8329

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I am currently with my gf, who I like very much. I don't expect my mom or step dad(he is extremly homophobic) to accept it, but just get over it. I never make a big deal or flaunt that I have a gf to them. My mom is not even homophobic,it's just that im her daughter and she wasn't expecting it. She thinks that it's just a phase and that I'm having gender confusion.
It could be worse. She does treat my gf with respect, It's just that when ever I talk about the subject in general she gets an attitude and talks to me like I'm a bad child whose done somthing wrong. I've learned to just keep it cool in those heated moments, but it still hurts, when somthing that means so much to me is bs to her.
Happy trails

Posts: 28 | From: las vegas, nevada, usa | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Miss Thang
Member # 5508

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Please forgive me for saying this, but is there a possibility that your mom is right? I mean, not completely- but generally I tend to agree with the idea that sexuality is mainly formed in your teenage years through experimentation. You try new things, you toss around new ideas, you are becoming a sexual being. (Disclaimer- This is strictly my opinion) Who's to say that you can't change sexuality? (Look at Ellen Degeneres). Vice-versa, too- you can be straight your whole life and then have a sexually formative experience that changes your views and opens your mind to the possiblity of homosexuality, or even bi-sexuality. What I'm saying is that maybe you will be a lesbian for the rest of your life, and if so, more power to you! But maybe your mother is trying to encourage you to be more open-minded to other lifestyles, and not settle into one serious relationship. Because she knows that these are the best years you have to experiment. And frankly, I don't think she says it just because you're gay. My mom always gives me lectures when I settle into a serious relationship, because "high school and college are for casual dating; meeting new people, having new experiences, and finding out what you look for in a mate". Hehe silly but smart mom. Hope this helps somewhat. If not, maybe you and your mom should see a counselor together to talk out some of these issues. Because this is your lifestyle, and she will have to accept it. Because the relationship with your mother is important, and you can't let it deteriorate over the issue of LOVE. That's ridiculous. Ok good luck sweetie!
Posts: 211 | From: Chicago, IL | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 6929

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My mother treats me exactly the same way, like I've done something wrong and I'm just confused.
To this I say, maybe so, but what about the present? My sexuality could flucuate, but right now I am gay.
She always says, "In five years you'll tell me you were wrong."
What about till then? GLBT stuff is important to me, is this part of my life just going to be nothing to her until A) I *change* or B) she realizes that I'm not going to change.
Sorry for taking over your topic, I just have a similar situation.
What has worked for me a little bit is putting my sexuality into a larger perspective, like I tell my mom about the things my GSA is doing and we talk about news articles on the subject, rather than talking about my own relationships.

Posts: 40 | From: Minneapolis | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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