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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » parents in denial

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Author Topic: parents in denial
Member # 6929

Icon 9 posted      Profile for shh     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Why doesn't my mom believe that I'm a lesbian?
I came out to her weeks ago.
Everyone accepts it but her.
I've read a lot about straight parents and gay kids.
I'm not asking for support.
I just want to have my sexuality and relationships validated by someone I love very much.
And what I've gotten is rejection, and it hurts.

Posts: 40 | From: Minneapolis | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1386

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Some times it takes a while for a parent to make a mental gear-shift. Your parents are probably heterosexual (I know, some aren't) and they have had no close dealings with someone who isn't. Your mother is probably confused, doesn't know how to react so is just denying this information. PFLAG was actually founded by people facing this dilemma. You might wish to contact your nearest center (from the link provided). Right now, it's your mom that needs a support group.

We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.

- Albert Einstein

Posts: 3442 | From: Stirling, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 33

Icon 3 posted      Profile for lemming     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I know as far as denial goes that it's a pretty common reaction to just think either

1) My kid is going through a phase or
2) S/he's too young to know whether or not s/he's gay.

My mother STILL thinks both of those things about an ex-boyfriend and still close friend of mine, and so does his mother. It may take awhile.

That PFLAG that Bobolink recommended is a really good way to start with your mom.

Laurel Lemming
Scarleteen Advocate

"Ooh, I'll settle down with some old story/About a boy who's just like me/Thought there was love in everything and everyone, you're so naive!"-Belle and Sebastian, "Get Me Away From Here I'm Dying"

Posts: 3156 | From: Austin, Texas | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 8329

Icon 1 posted      Profile for element45     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I understand where you are coming from. My mom was the exact same way and still is. She was the only one i cared about that knew. All my friends accepted it easily. I didn't care about that though. A good thing to remember, is that you've got all the time in the word to talk to her about it. She will come around, when she realizes this isn't a phase and it means alot to u.

Posts: 28 | From: las vegas, nevada, usa | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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