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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » I can't come out

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Author Topic: I can't come out
Member # 7972

Icon 11 posted      Profile for CherryLips     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I am bi-sexual, and I am 14. I don't feel right though, like I'm ashamed of myself. I live in like perfect town, and if anyone ever found out, especially in my school I wouldn't be left alone for a second and everyone would talk about me and hate me. My best friend and I made out once, and she thinks that she might be bi-sexual too. But no one other than her boyfriend knows that we might be bi-sexual, and he is really cool about it. But I can't tell anyone. Another thing is I am really attractive and guys fall for me all the time. But whenever I get in a relationship it's like I get all weird and dump them because I am so picky. I think if I dated a girl it would be so much easier to be with that person - but no one knows how I feel! I can't tell anyone within a 30 mile radius that I'm bi, and even if it was 30 miles away from here, I am afraid if I hit on a girl she would be grossed out and scream or something. I just don't know why I'm not attracted to only guys... girls just turn me on more. Can someone help? PS- I just need someone to talk to who's in the same situation as me....... leave your e-mail if I can talk to you... peace out.
Posts: 8 | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 33

Icon 1 posted      Profile for lemming     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
hey, hon - people aren't allowed to leave their email addresses on the boards.

I'm sure there are members here who can help you on the boards to discuss this. ;]

welcome to Scarleteen, by the way: the welcome wagon

~lemming, Scarleteen Advocate

"Years ago, I was an angry young man/I'd pretend that I was a billboard/Standing tall by the side of the road/I fell in love with the beautiful highway..."-Talking Heads, "(Nothing but) Flowers"

Posts: 3156 | From: Austin, Texas | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I think the first question to ask your self Cherry, is this: do you WANT to come out right now?

Think about that. It isn't required, you know. We don't expect heterosexual people to have to tell everyone they're heterosexual. If you aren't ready, or it doesn't feel right yet, that's totally okay.

But if you DO want to come out, we can work with that.

Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 7396

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Chelle     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I know exactly how you feel. One girl just THOUGHT I was bisexual (I'm actually a lesbian-if they only knew and she spread it around the entire school leaving me more than confused. So what if I was? People talk to talk and it's always going to be about someone. They're so insecure about their own sexuality and raging hormones that they'll jump at the chance to belittle another person who is more sure of themselves and their feelings.

You have to decide what is more important to you right now. Would you rather risk having a few people who don't even matter any ways talking about you for a few days or would you rather keep it in for now and let it out later. You never really have to-it's totally up to you.

Have you told your parents yet?

Posts: 60 | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 8056

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Well, I'm bi too and my point of advice is that before you hit on another girl make sure she isn't homophobic. Talk to her about it, and ask questions that won't give it away.
Posts: 67 | From: Some unknown planet beyond the solar system. | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 8206

Icon 1 posted      Profile for smileybabe546     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
hey i know how you feel. I made out with my friend before and i loved it I don't want to go out with her or anything just make-out. NEways before though i told her how I felt and she was completely understanding and has kept it a secret for me. Do the same . People will understand.
Posts: 3 | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 4003

Icon 1 posted      Profile for PixieDust     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
One thing I've learned is that with my orientation, I have to have patience... I've learned that I have to take my time with issues such as these. I'm just a fountain of knowledge tonight...gaw...
Posts: 86 | From: Las Vegas, NV, United States | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 5272

Icon 1 posted      Profile for jazzpenguin     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
It was only after I came out that I realised that there is no reason to tell anyone - you're right in thinking that you'd receive mainly negative reactions. If you want to come out in order to find a girlfriend, don't bother - it's highly likely you'll meet the lucky lady without coming out.

Above all, have patience, and don't feel an obligation to advertise your sexuality.


Posts: 59 | From: London, UK | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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