I think one of my roomates is gay or bi, but I don't know for sure, and I don't know how to find out. I am very attracted to him, he has said and done things that made me think he might be gay, but I didn't want to ask. If he is not gay or bi then I don't want him to know I'm bi, that's why I don't know how to find out. He has done some things that made me think he might be flirting with me, but I've never been for sure. It's been on my mind a lot, how can I find out?
Posts: 2 | Registered: Mar 2002
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Well honestly hon, if you are not intending to ask him about his sexual orientation and if he isn't going to volunteer the information himself, there is no way you can find out if he is gay or bi.
I would say that it isn't safe to take his gestures and actions as a gauge for his sexual orientation because they simply are not reliable.
If you really don't want to ask, and that really is the only way you can find out for sure, I would suggest you sit tight until you find out for sure (you never know, he might just admit it to you). Either that or bring up a topic on sexual orientation and see what he has to say about it.
And really, there is no big deal coming out to him since it seems he is quite open on the subject but if you think you might be subject to bigotry or if your other roommates will make life difficult for you upon knowing of your sexual orientation then it's probably better to just not say anything for the moment.
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