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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » need advice about possibly straight guy

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Author Topic: need advice about possibly straight guy
Member # 7023

Icon 11 posted      Profile for antonio     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hi everybody, I am in need of advice.

First a little background...

I am a twenty year old bi guy (I know this forum is for "teens" but please cut me some slack, I still feel like a teen and I'm certainly no adult). I am extremely attracted to my best friend, another twenty year old guy. He knows that I'm bi and he's fine with it... he said he suspected it before I told him and I'm sure that's true.

Anyway, a few months ago I told him how I feel about him and it made him a little nervous... it didn't damage our friendship but I think he wants to proceed like I never brought it up. I intended to respect his wishes but something else happened to complicate everything.

One morning after I had stayed at his place, I was still drunk from the night before and as we laid on his bed I touched him. He was aroused and it culminated in me performing oral sex on him, but I had to stop before he finished because otherwise we would have been caught.

Now, he responded actively but I don't know if he ever opened his eyes... Afterwards, he has made absolutely no mention of it and it apparent that he either wants to pretend like he was asleep, or that he really was asleep. I really think he is pretending but I'm not sure.

I need to know, though, because I'm driving myself crazy! I need to ask him somehow... but if he was asleep I don't want to offend him. He might not even know it happened and he might get upset. Likewise if it is important to him to maintain the facade that he was asleep.

What would be the best way to find out what his reaction was, but without making him upset if he doesn't want to talk about it?
I am embarrassed to bring it up because I don't think I know what to say.

I want him but I don't want to lose a good friend... Any advice, comments, questions, are most welcome.

Posts: 1 | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 802

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Rizzo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
What you did could be considered rape. It doesn't matter that he knows you're bi and attracted to him. Perhaps he was "responding actively" in a physical way, but it's possible to get aroused in your sleep, and you never got consent from him...

It's up to you what you want to do. Maybe he's unaware of what happened, or maybe he doesn't want to talk about it. Either apologize, or keep quiet-- if you can live with your mistake.

Posts: 582 | From: Montreal, Quebec, Canada | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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