Donate Now
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » in need of advice..

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: in need of advice..
Sh!mmeR!ng*staR
Activist
Member # 6475

Icon 5 posted      Profile for Sh!mmeR!ng*staR     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hey everyone, I've got a little problem. didn't mention this before but I'm a pretty confident bisexual. Only a few friends at my school know about it (like maybe 5 or 6) and they've been really nice and supportive.

Anyway, the thing is that one of my friends, let's call her Andrea, is a lesbian. she's very open about it & she also has a long-distance girlfriend (they IM each other & visit sometimes on the weekends). Andrea & I have been friends for about 4 months.... and I think i'm getting a crush on her. She's funny, good-hearted, and also very cute. I don't know what to do!! i know she has a gf but the thing is they've been fighting a lot lately... they've already broken up twice, but both times they got back together after a few days.....

I really really REALLY would like a relationship w/this girl, but i don't want to be sneaky & break up her long-distance relationship.... should I forget about her and find someone else? Wait til they break up and move in on her? Confess my feelings for her no matter what the consequences are? Write her a secret admirer note?

What do you all think I should do? Keep in mind that i'm good friends w/Andrea and don't wanna mess up our friendship if we can't go out together... any advice would be appreciated. thanx!!!

------------------
Prosperity that
the golden Muses
gave me was no
delusion: dead, I
won't be forgotten
-Sappho


Posts: 97 | From: Wisconsin | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DarlingBri
Activist
Member # 5036

Icon 1 posted      Profile for DarlingBri     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Regardless of anyone's orientation, I would not go there if she's seeing someone else, no matter how rocky the relationship is. If they do finally really break it off, you could give it some time and then see where things stand between you two, perhaps?

------------------
Hope this helps,
--Bri


Posts: 848 | From: London, UK | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sh!mmeR!ng*staR
Activist
Member # 6475

Icon 9 posted      Profile for Sh!mmeR!ng*staR     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
*heart beats madly*

It-she-th-they just broke up... I can't believe it..... i thought I'd be glad, but right now I just feel so bad for her ;-; Her gf did it in a really mean way too, she's been flirting w/other people & now she wants to give my friend/crush her ring back... I can't believe it. I... don't really know what to say.. maybe oppurtunity is knocking, maybe not, but i'll have to wait a while on that one :/

How long should I wait before asking her out?? I mean what's the normal "period of recovery" after a breakup?

------------------
Prosperity that
the golden Muses
gave me was no
delusion: dead, I
won't be forgotten
-Sappho


Posts: 97 | From: Wisconsin | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
kythryne
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5460

Icon 1 posted      Profile for kythryne     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yow, that's a tough place to be. But yay to you for being a good friend and wanting to wait to ask her out until she's ready to date again.

As for how long you should wait -- there's really no cut-and-dried answer to that question. Some people are ready to spring into a new relationship right away after a breakup, others want to wait weeks, months, years. It really depends on the person and how quickly they recover from the stress of the breakup.

Personally, I think the best relationships spring up out of friendships anyway, so my advice would be to just stay friends and see where it goes on its own. In my experience, if sparks are going to fly, they'll start flying all on their own.

Kyth

------------------
Kythryne
Scarleteen Advocate

"The only unnatural sexual act is that which you cannot perform." - Alfred Kinsey


Posts: 1685 | From: New York City | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ginger69
Neophyte
Member # 6589

Icon 6 posted      Profile for Ginger69     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I agree with kythryne

just be there for her if it is truly meant to happen it will.

In life we're always hearing stories about two good friends, one goes off and dates a couple of people, while the other realizes that she/orhe has a crush on that friend and after awhile the first friend comes back to realize how she/orhe really cares about the other. And although, you may stay friends at first, let nature take its course b/c when nature supplies you with the right opportunity you'll know it, after that the rest is up to them. Just remember time is the key to all good things..so pay attention b/c patience is a virtue.

so good luck and may all your wishes come true...

Ginger

------------------
~*..because when your stuck in a dark tunnel, with no way out,
you need someone to shine a light on things...*~^~Ginger(me)


Posts: 12 | From: Houston, TX | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3