Has anyone ever done or said something that kind of hinted that they knew about your sexual orientation. They may have been unaware of what they were actually saying. It's happened to me a few times. Once my friend commented on the fact that I am a very girlish (as in well kept.etc.) tom boy. Now...I've been a tom boy since I was little (not so much any more). I would always play sports with the boys and had many male friends. I though that was pretty funny as I'm bi...Not butch at all, but not very femme as I don't wear skirts or dresses. It was pretty much on target I know she was unaware of what she said.
I've had a few hints from my dad that he knows that I'm not completely straight. I know it's because he has seen sites like 'technodyke' in 'history'( he hasn't exactly said so, but I know). I know he'll be okay with it and I've decided that he'll be the first person to officially know. Anyway...There are a few cringe worthy moments. The first time he implied something was when he told me how to delete memory on the address bar. I know he wasn't trying to be fisicious. I think he just respects my privacy. That wasn't the most embarrassing moment at all. One day he comes into my room holding a magazine. 'Look Kim,' he says, 'There's so much in this magazine, news, music, an ADVICE section. I thought you would find it interesting. Look...Someone with an eating disorder...and oh, something about someone being gay. Anyway...Thought you might want to look at it.' Now I'm sitting there...On my bed, and I'm thinking...'My God..Please help?' He also tries to give me advice about homosexuality when ever the chance arises and when we're with other people he may make a general statement. I find the majority of these situations extremely embarrassing. I usually make himstop before he starts though. He always chooses the worst moments to say something. For instance the magazine thing happened when my mom was in the next room and the door was open. I could have pretty much died. Lately I think that the nicest thing he does is that whe he tells me he loves me he adds 'unconditionally' and looks me in the eye. That makes me pretty darn happy. My mom won't be as easy to tell. She's not homophobic at all...She just wouldn't want her children to be that way. I think that that's pretty common though. I don't look steryotypicaly(sp) gay (and I mean that in the best way possible) and I know that I'm not analysing these situations too much. Has anything like this ever happened to any of you guys before you were out to people. Just interested...
I had one moment that was really, really bad. I was riding up the chairlift with some guys my age the frequent the ski resort I work at; at some point in the conversation me liking girls came up. Now, my sexuality is no secret but I didn't think they knew about it so I was surprised.
As we were unloading I asked them who told them and they gave me the name of a mutual friend who happened to be on the chair right behind them. I wasn't very pleased with the whole situation - we weren't close and I just don't want my sexuality (or anything terribly personal) spread throughout the entire resort.
I went up to the guy that had supposedly told them and asked him about it. He took his headphones off, had me repeat myself and then coldly looked me in the eye and told me that in addition to not telling them he didn't know or care in the first place. Damn did I feel bad.
Minutes later I was going down the hill and out of nowhere I hear the word "dyke" screamed from the chairlift; I looked up and it was them. I was pissed. I hunted down a friend of mine who I thought might have told them and confronted him about it. Between him and another guy they calmed me down and suggested that the original guys may have just been screwing around and that I had told them inadvertantly.
Suddenly I felt really, really bad. I had just accused two people I cared about of something that they would never do. Fortunately it blew over but that was not a pleasant experience at all.
Nothing really bad happened to me like that. A girl on my ball team this summer though came up to me and told me that I didn't seem like the kinda girl that would be into guys. And the other ten team mates agreed with her and they would make comments on my pants (very baggy) like saying 'my brother has the exact same pair!' Scary I know but I think they knew somehow that I was les.
Posts: 7 | From: New Glasgow, Nova Scotia, Canada | Registered: Dec 2001
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