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Author Topic: Everyone is bi
Clueless~Girl
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I was just wondering what everyone thinks of the theory that everyone is bisexual.

The theory is pretty simple. Assume there's a scale from 1 to 100, 1 being completely heterosexual and 100 being completely homosexual. It's like a huge spectrum. No one is at exactly 1 or 100, everyone falls somewhere in the middle (some just tend to be more to one side than the other). This theory does not say that everyone will ACT on sexual attractions, or even admit to it them, but that anything is possible. For example, any given person, if they are given a large enough selection, will find at least one person from each gender attractive. Here's an example: If there is a female who claims to be 100% straight, if she is introduced to enough other females, sooner or later, she's bound to find one of them attractive.

Anyway, I was just wondering what everyone thought of this theory.


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kythryne
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I think that it's a reasonably plausable idea. I know there've been a lot of studies that show evidence to support it too -- that even people who identify strongly as heterosexual will at times find themselves attracted to members of the same sex, and people who identify strongly as homosexual will occasionally be attracted to people of the opposite sex.

It's an interesting theory, and I'm curious to see what other opinions you'll get.

Kyth

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Kythryne
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Clueless~Girl
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Oops, I forgot to add my two cents on this.

I think it is very possible that everyone is bisexual. Some just may not pursue any feelings or even admit to them. This was brought up on another message board I go to, and quite a few people agreed it made sense (except for a select few, whose main reason why it wasn't true was "the bible says...").

I personally am in a heterosexual relationship right now (my only relationship ever). And although I cannot see myself spending the rest of my life with a girl (which doesn't really say much since I can't imagine really spending the rest of my life with any one particular person right now), I have been curious about what it would be like to be with a girl. It's not a strong feeling (even though that doesn't say much either since I have a VERY low libido), but it is there. I wouldn't rule out the idea of being with a girl sometime.


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sapphirecat
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I like the thought of that. "Bisexual" is too rigidly defined for me, so I think I'll coin my own term.

If I find some guys suitable for being petrified, placed in an alcove, and worshipped forever, but I don't want sex with them, then I should just take the "sex" out and be a "biual".

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Dude_who_writes
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I'll have to agree that this theory is reasonable, too. I think that on a primal level, we're simply all sexual, and that most people make a decision on their sexuality identification by what society dictates, or by what they're willing to admit to. Sub-consciously, sex is just a need, and can be fulfilled by any person.

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Tim (a.k.a. the dude)
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"I am man who has grown from a son
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I'm often reminded of the fools I'm among...
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to dispel our archaic reputation
I am a man who has heard all he can
Cause I don't fare well with endless punishment..." -- Alanis Morissette ("A Man")


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Lynne
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I'm going to have to disagree with this. I'm not bisexual. I'm not even interested in one gender, let alone both. Honest, I've never been attracted to anyone in my life. Men do nothing for me; women do nothing for me. And there are other people like me, rare though they may be.

And this brings up another point: if there are people out there who are completely uninterested in either gender, is it really that much of a stretch to assume that there are people out there who are completely uninterested in one gender?

While I think that it's true that few people sit on the extreme ends of the sexual orientation scale, I think that they do exist.

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jazzpenguin
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Biual....I like it. I thinkk I'll use that.

I agree. I think everyone is inherently bisexual, and that we identify ourselves as homo or hetrosexual simply on which gender we like more. I've often thought about that. However, I don't think many of my straight friends would admitt to it.

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Pumpkin_Pie
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I think that everyone is bisexual to a degree but enough with my opinions and I'll throw in my interestting fact. Did u know is ancient Greece(particularly Sparta) there was no gay or straight, just people. So, everyone just had relationships with everyone, regardless of gender or orientation. And noone batted an eyelid. Wouldn't that be cool now?
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Dude_who_writes
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Sparta was actually KNOWN for their sexual liberation. In fact, the concept of Eros (loosely translated: Love) was only between a man and a boy -- a "bond" that would last nearly a lifetime, even with the older man eventually choosing a wife for the boy. What a great time to live in that had to be!

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Tim (a.k.a. the dude)
-------------------------
"I am man who has grown from a son
Been crucified by enraged women
I am son who was raised by such men
I'm often reminded of the fools I'm among...
I am a man who still does what he can
to dispel our archaic reputation
I am a man who has heard all he can
Cause I don't fare well with endless punishment..." -- Alanis Morissette ("A Man")


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Lynne
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(I just had to spend an entire semester studying ancient Greece, so, if for no other reason than to prove to myself that all that time spent was at least a bit useful, I feel compelled to point this out.)

Actually, ancient Greece wasn't quite that liberated. No, there wasn't really a concept of sexual orientation, and yes, boys and older men did have sexual relationships (I don't know it there's a definitive answer about whether or not women did this, but some scholars think it was likely), but those relationships were under tight societial constraints. The older man (called the erastes, if you care) acted as a mentor (in ways both sexual and otherwise) to the boy, and took on an active role during sex. The boy (called the eromenos) took on a passive role during sex. To step outside these roles was verboten. This was, I believe, especially true in the case of the older man; for him to take on the passive role would have resulted in a loss of honor (and honor was a huge thing in ancient Greece).

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Pumpkin_Pie
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Yeah, what was it? Oh yeah "Come back with your shield or on it" right?
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ambre02
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I have thought that everyone is bisexual for some time now. I am bisexual, however, I prefer women to men. That doesn't mean that I rule out relationships with men. I find it very interesting that many other people also believe in this theory. I also find the information about the ancient Greeks to be interesting as well. Kudos!
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Pumpkin_Pie
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Ok, this is my last interesting but useless fact about the greek army. They actually encouraged gay lovers to fight in the same regiment as they believed that they would fight better to impress each other. Ok, that's me done.
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TenohSetsuna
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On a scale of 1-100? I'm a 90. Because while Archie Goodwin and Legolas maybe cute, Arashii is all mine, and noone's going to take her. Too bad she's a cartoon. Good topic.
[I just realized this didn't make sense. Sorry. I'm still a 90.]
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I don't want eternity. But Arashii is mine.

"I never said I was a boy." - Tenoh Haruka, episode 92, Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon

[This message has been edited by TenohSetsuna (edited 01-24-2002).]


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dosdeabril
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I think that I've pretty much ALWAYS thought the same exact thing. How can someone look at any gorgeous person, regardless of their sex, and NOT be attracted to them. If there are qualities that a 'heterosexual' person wants to display themselves... wouldn't they be attracted to a person that had those 'ideal' qualities? This was my theory, my only hope. Then I talked to a friend, and he told me that he has NEVER been attracted to another male, not once. He could always be lying, but in this circumstance, there's no reason for him to lie. So now what? There are others that claim the same thing. I still like to hope that if a 100% hetero person found the right person of the same sex, he/she could get over the principal sexual attraction, and become attracted to the other's body, and sexuality, because he/she is attracted to that person generally. I don't know if anyone else understands what i'm rambling about Let me know.
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sapphirecat
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quote:
dosdeabril tells us:
How can someone look at any gorgeous person, regardless of their sex, and NOT be attracted to them.

Attractiveness can be "just there" for one person, and "just not there" for someone else. It's quite similar to looking at a piece of art and not wanting to eat it, no matter how beautiful it is.

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Sapphire Cat
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sangre_red
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omg!!!

I FULLY AGREE!!!!

ive had the same bisexual theory forever- & some ppl think im just crazy, makes sense to me. for those who claim to be asexual i dont think they''re discounted in the theory becasue there is still the possibility that you could be attracted to some human being. chances are some time in ur life ur going to be attracted to another human being, so tho for now u may not.

the theory also explains how ppl can go from heterosxual--> homosexual r homosexual-->biesexual-->heterosexual or whatever. we all have the possibility within us. wouldnt it all be easier if we simply didnt label ourselves & just let us love whoever we loved!?!?

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masturbation: (n.) sex with someone i love.


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ice_magick
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I totally agree. I bet 99% of people who call themselves straight would at least find JUST THE RIGHT same sex person attractive, and 99% of ppl who call themswlves gay or lez would find JUST THE RIGHT opposite sex person attractive.
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badly_behaved_badger
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That theory sounds pretty good...better than just having 3 groups, straight, gay, or bi. Some people just don't fit into any 1 of those groups. I'd say I would be about 80-90 on the scale. I sometimes just look at a girl and think - <wolf-whistle> my god she's fit! But mostly it's boys that float my boat! *lotsa hugs from da bajjah*
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nanipunahele
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I'd be a hmm 10-20. I guess I'd say that because I failed the "Lesbian Test." Meaning being Lesbian with a score of 10-100 (or something like that) the first time I was a -20 and the second time a -12. So still no where near the definition of Lesbian.

Usually guys float my boat (although I've never had sex with anyone yet, so I can't be definite). But there are some guys when I just look at them I practically orgasm.

But I do find some women attractive. Not so much sexually, but in that they are beautiful. I can't see myself having sex with women or even kissing them, but that may change. Who knows.

I hope not, I like being straight. There are guys like the Malloys (pro surfers) that I would have a hard time saying no to.

Anyways, yeah if we're all bi on a spectrum, I'd say I'm a 10-20


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nanipunahele
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Oh by the way, the Marquis de Sade (though a seriously sick guy) practiced the philosophies of the Libertines. They had sex with anyone (and sometimes anything) regardless of gender. And there weren't any labels for orientation because everyone was doing it. If your interested read "Philosophy in the Boudoir" or the "120 days of Sodom"
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earthigurl
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I have to agree with this theory totally. Isn't falling in love supposed to be something you can't control? You can believe all your life that you are 100% straight until one day bang you find yourself attracted to someone of the same sex without even thinking about it.

I would personelly have to throw myself somewhere near the middle, leaning slightly towards the guy side only b/c I've never had a relationship with ne1 other then a guy. But I can picture myself with woman just as easy as I can picture myself with a guy.


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ice_magick
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I'm like an 80, but there are 2 guys in particular that I'd love to date
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jimbo50
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I completely disagree with this statement. I am a heterosexual male who is very open minded and has MANY friends who are gay-I have grown up in the theater community so from the time i was 10 i was working with gay men... I can honestly say that I have never been attracted to anyone of the same sex... And i dont really think that i could ever be... YOu guys are probably like, "Yeah right he does theater Hes in denial," but seriously.
Jimbo

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logic_grrl
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I like the spectrum idea, because it makes it clear that "straight", "gay/lesbian" and "bisexual" are always, to some extent, approximations.

But I do think there are some people who are genuinely at 1 or 100, and insisting otherwise is kind of equivalent to saying to a gay man, "Well, you just haven't met the right girl yet ...". Nobody can ever predict with 100% certainty who they'll be attracted to in the future, but it's often possible to have a pretty good idea.

And there are some people, like me, who certainly aren't at 1 or 100 on the scale (the people I'm attracted to are almost invariable male, but I have experienced flickers of attraction to some women and so I wouldn't rule out the possibility that one day I might be seriously attracted), but who have enough of a "skew" in our preferences that claiming to be bi seems pretentious, like appropriating someone else's identity.


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Star2be17
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I identify as heterosexual, but i always see women that i think are attractive. And in movies, if there's nudity, i always get turned on by it...even if it's a female. I think women are attractive, but i wouldn't have a relationship with one, and i wouldnt have sex with one. I don't know that this makes any sense at all. Hmmmm...im not sure where i am on the scale

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"Distance and time do not make the heart grow fonder, but only serve to show he who is missing how deep and vigilent his love lies." ~~My boyfriend :)


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Apoc-chan
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I am firmly a 50 on that scale... Sometimes it's different, so I go through 40-45 phases and 55-60 phases. I find members of both genders to be attractive, almost equally (though I do tend to gravitate towards very feminine guys... ).

I don't think that everyone is bisexual. Even if people do have fantasies, thoughts, dreams, whatever about being with members of their own gender doesn't mean that they would act on these if they could. Seriously, I have random thoughts about killing people sometimes, but that doesn't make me a killer (eerie analogy, but okay).

I think a person is whatever they consider themselves, no matter if they say it out loud or just think it.

As far as labels are concerned, it's bad if someone else labels someone, but it's all right if they want to call themselves whatever if they want to.


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Chyna2255
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I think everyone is atleast bi-curious

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"We who are truley brave will never live in fear" The Rock
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Love may be blind, but jealousy sees too much. -- Unknown


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Mary
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I gave a speech to a diversity group at my school about sexuality, and while I was doing research for the presentation, I came across the Kinsey Scale. It was developed by Alfred Kinsey, a famous sexologist, about 50 years ago. He interviewed, with help from his partners, a few thousand people about their sexuality. From his results, he constructed a scale from 1 to 6 (1 being exclusively heterosexual and 6 being exclusively homosexual). Long story short, he found that about 80% of people are neither completely homosexual nor heterosexual. The scale is still used today!I'd say I'm about a 4.5 on the scale.

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momomo
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I definately agree with that. For me, its not so much about the gender...at all. if the person I find turns out to be AMAZING but is my same sex, I can still go out with her or visa versa. Even though people claim to be totally straight or gay/lesbian, I don't think that if they found an AMAZING person that they would blow them off just because their the "wrong" gender for them. that just seems dumb
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J_Ferch
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I don't agree, just because someone is attractive does not mean i am going to act on anything, I am 100% lesbian, I have seen guys that are attractive but that does not take away from my lesbianism, it just mean that I know an attractive person when I see one, whether they are male, female, transgender, young, old, black, white, large, small, or what ever. Everyone is attractive to somone somewhere, does that mean that person is going to act on anything - NO. I wouldn't anyway, and i think any rational thinking person would agree with me...


quote:
Originally posted by Clueless~Girl:
I was just wondering what everyone thinks of the theory that everyone is bisexual.

The theory is pretty simple. Assume there's a scale from 1 to 100, 1 being completely heterosexual and 100 being completely homosexual. It's like a huge spectrum. No one is at exactly 1 or 100, everyone falls somewhere in the middle (some just tend to be more to one side than the other). This theory does not say that everyone will ACT on sexual attractions, or even admit to it them, but that anything is possible. For example, any given person, if they are given a large enough selection, will find at least one person from each gender attractive. Here's an example: If there is a female who claims to be 100% straight, if she is introduced to enough other females, sooner or later, she's bound to find one of them attractive.

Anyway, I was just wondering what everyone thought of this theory.


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momomo
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see I dont think that just because u find someone ATTRACTIVE you'll need to be with them or anything but if they are EVERYTHING u've been looking for in a partner except they happen to be the 'wrong' gender, why turn them down for a thing like that? But to each their own
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-Jill
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quote:
Originally posted by J_Ferch:
...and i think any rational thinking person would agree with me...

One can be both rational and thinking and still disagree. Please keep a respectful tone when posting.


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sapphirecat
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quote:
Originally posted by J_Ferch:
I don't agree, just because someone is attractive does not mean i am going to act on anything, I am 100% lesbian, I have seen guys that are attractive but that does not take away from my lesbianism, it just mean that I know an attractive person when I see one, whether they are male, female, transgender, young, old, black, white, large, small, or what ever. Everyone is attractive to somone somewhere, does that mean that person is going to act on anything - NO. I wouldn't anyway, and i think any rational thinking person would agree with me...

If you're 100% lesbian, how do you know he's attractive? If he's not attractive to you, to whom is he attractive? If his attractiveness stems from some cultural standard which doesn't match your own, why do you apply it? And finally, the real head-spinning question: if everyone is attractive in the right eyes, why is there an attractiveness scale separate from your own (or my own) in the first place?

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Sapphire Cat
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blackravyn
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i completely agree with the scale... i have friends who use the scale. i heard them talking about it just after i'd read this topic, and was lik, wow, this is so cool thatpeople i know have this same theory. i mean, my entire life, while i could say a girl is pretty, i could never imagine being with a girl, it just didn't click for me. then i met tasha, and it opened this door. while nothing ever happened with her, just having such strong feelings for her opened this part of my mind and heart that i didn't know existed. anything is possible, i know from experience. i am somewhere near a 48... i am attracted to guys more often, but am more deeply and sincerely attracted to women. the feelings i have for women are much less shallow, not to mention they don't come with nearly as much baggage.

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if it has really big fangs, it's a killer rabbit! - monty python


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