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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » How to ask

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Author Topic: How to ask
Member # 2105

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How do you know if someone is gay? You ask. Here's where the hard part comes in--how do you ask? Bluntly, subtly? Casually bring it up in a conversation or pull them aside and ask? What do you think?
Posts: 356 | From: Phoenix--name that plurally | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 2297

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It's a hard thing to go about, and I don't usually do it.

I'm always going on about chicks I like or bringing up some gay rights issue, and that can make it easier for them to come out to me if they are gay.

If I were to ask, I'd do the whole "I was just wondering..." thing. It's also a kind of thrill to crack onto someone when you don't know if they're gay or straight.

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Posts: 465 | From: Canberra, ACT, Australia | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 5272

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I never make a move on someone unless I know that they're gay. So, I just ask them bluntly. If they say yes - wahey! If they say no, they either shrug it offf (and really don't mind), or they say (and I quote)

"NO WAY! I'm no ****ing battyboy! Are you a ****ing perv! Ewwwww - gross! Get away from me! Ah, ah, ah - YOU TOUCHED MY SHOULDER! AAAAAAHHHH!"

This is a good thing, as it lets you know whether people have that tiny little problem with your sexuality. In that case,, either shout them down, or, as I do, ask them in calming tones what their problem is. (They invariably get tounge twisted.)

Sorry Tangent.

In all, just ask people straight out (no pun intended).


Posts: 59 | From: London, UK | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 5317

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Don't make any sort of sexual advance. Nobody I know worth dating likes dealing with people that have just one thing on their mind, whether that person is of the desired sex or not.

Sapphire Cat
You can love me or hate me, but it won't change who I am.

Posts: 235 | From: Louisville KY (St. Matthews) | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 11950

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i came right out and asked one chick. yeah she got mad, but hell, i didn't care, cuz i wanted to know, since we were all speculating anyway. most people i don't ask about, i just talk about my gayness so that if they are and need someone to talk to, they can talk to me bout it.


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Member # 8684

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I personally would never ask someone straight out. And here's my reasoning why: I'm still in the closet to everyone I know except my mom and 2 of my friends. If someone were to ask me if I was gay, I probably wouldn't be ready to tell them. I'm horrible at lying, so they'd easily be able to see through my discomfort and know I'm lying.
One of my greatest fears is that someone will ask me if I'm gay, and I'll be outted when I'm not ready yet. That's the key thing. When I'm ready to be out, I won't mind people asking me. But I'm only 15. I'm not ready to have details about my sexual orientation spread throughout the whole school.
So my opinion is to not ask her straight out. Maybe do like nappyafrochik and mention queerness and maybe that'll ease them into feeling comfortable enough come out.

And now she's walking through the clouds with a circus mind that's running wild. ~ Butterflies and zebras and moonbeams and fairytales. ~ All she ever thinks about is riding with the wind. ~ When I'm sad she comes to me. ~ With a thousand smiles she gives to me, free. ~ 'It's alright, it's alright' she says. 'Take anything you want from me. Anything.'

Posts: 41 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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