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Author Topic: Shyness.....
Malice_In_Wonderland
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Just so you know, I'm female, and I've known I was bisexual since I was 10 (I know that sounds ridiculous, but I grew up very quickly). I am now 14 and leaning more towards girls at the moment.

I find it very hard to ask people out, because when it comes to that I am very shy. I have also had many experiences with bi girls I know who give me the excuse of looking for guys at the moment. I have also had a girl tell me that I had a great personality, but I wasn't physically attractive (That made me even shyer).

Comments, advice, hate messages. All is welcome.
Thanks.


Posts: 7 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
kythryne
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Hey there, and welcome to the boards!

My advice would be to take your time and not rush right into asking people out -- spend a while getting to know them better, just hanging out, maybe flirt and joke around a little. If you already know someone as a friend, it'll probably make it a lot easier to take the next step.

Now, on to the comment about you not being physically attractive -- hogwash! Everyone is attractive in some way or another. Trust me on this, hon, 'cause I really mean it. I've never seen a person who wasn't attractive in some way. I've seen plenty of people who just weren't my type, but that didn't mean they weren't attractive -- just that they weren't quite what I usually find attractive. Does that make any sense?

Kyth


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Malice_In_Wonderland
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Awwwww thanks Kyth. It helps a lot to get advice.
Posts: 7 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
alaska
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Hi Malice, and welcome to the board.

Great advice (as usual) from Kyth here. I can only add that indeed, everyone is attractive in some way - be it from the in- or outside or in multiple ways. Just because that one girl thought you weren't her type (and told you so in a rather rude way) doesn't mean you aren't attractive! I am absolutely sure that there are things about you which are simply wonderful, be it your smile, or your eyes, or the way that you dance or the way you laugh. What a bummer for that girl that she couldn't see that!

I agree with Kyth - just get to know people first before you ask them out for a coffee or so, I find that a lot easier if I already know people! If you're looking to meet some queer youth, maybe you might want to check out a GLBT group, if you live in a larger city.

And hey, don't worry about hate messages here - You won't get those at Scarleteen. Even if we sometimes disagree on certain issues, everone here is accepted the way (s)he is. Welcome to our love bubble!

------------------
Caro
~spanking new Scarleteen Sexpert~

"Through repetition the magic will be forced to rise."
Alchemical Precept

[This message has been edited by Alaska (edited 10-29-2001).]


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Malice_In_Wonderland
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Thanks for your advice.
Unfortunatly Alaska, I don't think they have a GBLT youth thingy where I am. Firstly I live in a small town.......make that small COUNTRY town, so I'm not exactly that bold enough to find out. *Blushes* I'm a little ashamed of being scared to find out. I just don't want anymore trouble with people.

Posts: 7 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
alaska
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Malice, in which state or territory do you live in Oz? I'll see whether I can find some local GLBT youth suport for you, if you don't mind.

And hey: If you consider that up to 10% of people are queer, I bet there are more non-straight people in your area as you think, even in the outback!

------------------
Caro
~spanking new Scarleteen Sexpert~

"Through repetition the magic will be forced to rise."
Alchemical Precept


Posts: 4526 | From: germany | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
alaska
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Check out http://www.dogwomble.worfie.net/gyres/services.htm

...that site lists resources all around Australia, and you could call the one closest to you to find out whether they know about any groups in your area!

I also came across http://www.also.org.au/outreach/ which also lists a few resources.

Another great resource for queer youth in Oz seems to be http://www.mogenic.com/

[This message has been edited by Alaska (edited 10-29-2001).]


Posts: 4526 | From: germany | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
kythryne
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I'm glad to be of help. And I see Caro has found some excellent web resources for you -- you may be surprised at how many queer people there are in small towns. I live in a rather small and relatively backwards rural town, and I know I'm not the only queer person here. I see just as many rainbow stickers and such here as I did when I lived in a city that had easily 20 times as many people.

I also want to mention, if you or anyone else here gets "hate messages" or other nasty replies, please let me or one of the other moderators know right away, okay? The moderators are listed up at the top of the main page of each forum, right below the forum name.

Mind you, I'm not trying to discourage anyone from stating their opinion on a subject, even if it disagrees with someone else's opinon -- respectful disagreement and discussion is a good thing. But being rude or insulting someone isn't particularly constructive, and it's also against the guidelines y'all have to agree to when you sign up.

Okay, lecture over. Back to our regularly scheduled discussion...

Kyth


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smittenkitten
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Hey Malice (love the nick!)

Just thought I'd drop in and say hi since I'm from aus too! I've lived in a country town, though before I discovered I was bi. You'll find people are out there, though most often they aren't holding signs that read "I'm gay".

Hugs & Scully,
Winnie :0)


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Malice_In_Wonderland
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quote:
Originally posted by Alaska:
Check out http://www.dogwomble.worfie.net/gyres/services.htm

...that site lists resources all around Australia, and you could call the one closest to you to find out whether they know about any groups in your area!

I also came across http://www.also.org.au/outreach/ which also lists a few resources.

Another great resource for queer youth in Oz seems to be http://www.mogenic.com/

[This message has been edited by Alaska (edited 10-29-2001).]


Thanx Alaska. The sites have helped a lot!!!


Posts: 7 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Malice_In_Wonderland
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quote:
Originally posted by Alaska:
Malice, in which state or territory do you live in Oz? I'll see whether I can find some local GLBT youth suport for you, if you don't mind.

And hey: If you consider that up to 10% of people are queer, I bet there are more non-straight people in your area as you think, even in the outback!


Oh, I live in Victoria


Posts: 7 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gaffer
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Oh, bearer of wonderful nicknames, hello.

I was going to recommend Mogenic, but since Alaska beat me to it...

Anyone with a handle like yours must be pretty cool so don't worry about what other people think about you too much.

------------------
I am not who I appear to be.

Gaffer--from under the moon backstage


Posts: 356 | From: Phoenix--name that plurally | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Malice_In_Wonderland
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quote:
Originally posted by Gaffer:
Oh, bearer of wonderful nicknames, hello.

I was going to recommend Mogenic, but since Alaska beat me to it...

Anyone with a handle like yours must be pretty cool so don't worry about what other people think about you too much.


Awww thanks *Blushes*.
My handle is actually one of many that get stuck in my head


Posts: 7 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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