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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » my best friend wants to try......

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Author Topic: my best friend wants to try......
Member # 4335

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Ok here's the deal... I'm bisexual, and my straight best friend has known this for 5 years, but recently she has been saying that she wants to "experiment" and do stuff with a girl. I am somewhat attracted to her, but I don't know if it would be a good idea since she's only wanting to "try" it. Even though I kinda want to go through with it, I guess I'm afraid of just being a fling to her and/or losing the friendship. What would you do in this situation?


Posts: 9 | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2748

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I wouldn't do it.

About a year ago, my best friend and I (I'm gay, she's not. Neither of us knew at the time and were both questioning ourselves but never said anything to each other) were so into each other. Later, when we talked about it, we admitted that while it could have been the relationship of a life-time, it wasn't worth risking screwing up a really good friendship to take the risk of a having a good relationship (which wasn't guarenteed). Ok. Long enough sentence.

In short, I wouldn't do anything fling-like with her.

Posts: 290 | From: Minneapolis | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 4867

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I think it pretty much depends on the two of you and if you're playing under the same rules. Late last year my best friend and I (we're both bisexual--I had kissed another girl, she hadn't) made out in her bedroom. After it was over, we never once talked about it and we've never repeated it. As much as I enjoyed the experience, the indifference I felt afterwards was almost my undoing. I *wanted* to feel something for her. I loved her so much and I wanted the physical relationship to mean something, but it didn't. It was just an experiment and we're still the best of friends, but we've never talked about that day. Experimenting with your best friend can be tricky because you'll be putting quite a bit on the line. Have a think about it, I guess. If you think the relationship you have with her is strong enough to survive anything that may develop physically, go for it. But if you have doubts, don't take the risk.

Good luck.

"Sometimes the hardest part of moving forward is never looking back."

Posts: 23 | From: Bangkok, Thailand | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 2297

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I once slept over at a friends house. We weren't really close, but we got along quite well. We knew about each other's sexuality and without talking about it we had a fling. We never talked about it afterwards and it didn't mean anything, but we have grown apart. I wouldn't say we grew apart because of it, it just happened.

You should ask yourself if you are willing to risk a great friendship for something that might turn out better, or just as likely might turn out worse. Trust your instincts. It could be fun, as long as you don't let her use you to test her sexuality and leave you emotionally stranded (feeling for her while she isn't feeling for you).

Trust your instincts :0)

Hugs & Scully,
Winnie :0)

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Posts: 465 | From: Canberra, ACT, Australia | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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