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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » Gay Couples.... Straight Couples...

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Author Topic: Gay Couples.... Straight Couples...
JenaSuperStar
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I've noticed that most of the gay couples in my city outlast the straight couples.

My mom and her partner were together for quite some time.

My aunt and her "wife" have been together for a long time now.

My Godmother and her partner have been together since high school.

Does this happen in your city too? Do gay couples outlast a straight couple???

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"Cos I used to be a superhero... no one could touch me, yeah not even myself.... you were like a phone booth that i somehow stumbled into... now look at me I am just like everybody else!!!"

-Ani Difranco


Posts: 36 | From: Brownsville,TX,USA | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lin
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You know, we tend to think that because we see more gay couples outlast straight couples, it has to be that gay relatoinships last longer.

However that is not necessarily the case. I think every relationship is unique in it's own way and both gay/straight relationships have their own set of problems.

Personally, I have not noticed that gay couples or straight couples stay together longer than the other.


Posts: 2294 | From: Singapore | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Pixie69
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Acturally, I read a study somewhere (I don't know off the top of my head, I'll try to find it again) and in the study, the gay and lesbian couples did indeed last longer then the guy/girl ones (I say guy/girl because you can be bi and be in a 'straight' relationship). I wonder if it's just a coincidence or what, but hmm.... it's a good thing to use when you're arguing about gay people having kids. "oh yeah!? Well straight people can get married so they'd just get divorced anyway!" Muwahahaha.

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Brittany
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real poetry is all based on this old myth about this beautiful, scary, trippy goddess who the poet wants to possess but he always loses her to this shadowy other guy - Girl Goddess #9


Posts: 1339 | From: Las Vegas, NV, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
rambler
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I'm not entirely sure that I would agree this is really the case... Statistics can lie about anything, let me tell you...
But I could maybe justify why it might POSSIBLY be so.

#1) Coming out and all can be a really strenuous thing at times and it carries risks with it. So, if you've come out as a result of some relationship you are in and/or want to form, then you might feel that you've put so much into it and it may feel like a very big deal and that you are more committed because you have come out for the sake of it. (Does that make sense?)

#2) It's possible that by coming out and engaging in same-sex relationships a person might lose various friends or family support, which means that the relationship(s) they're in become more important. I mean, consider this: In a straight relationship, if it ends, you will generally have friends coming out of the woodwork saying things like "Oh I knew this would happen...let me help you out..." and, in general, just support you--whereas, there's more of a limited community that one has if one's "out" because not all of those same friends would be as comfortable comforting you after a breakup with a same-sex partner. They might even decide it's now time to get you a nice opposite sex partner and fix you up. :P So I think it all comes down to knowing that there's less of a support system for same-sex couples. I mean, I'm not saying this kind of stuff is bound to happen, but I can imagine it happening. I know that my uncle would have never had any support from his relatives or anyone that I personally knew had he had a breakup (to the point where I'm not even sure if my uncle ever had anyone because we just don't know because it was not discussed...), and so the partner can really become more important, I think, than family or friendship ties. I'm not sure if that's really healthy but it's probably necessary in many cases.

That was a lot of random rambling--I hope it made some sense.

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rambler
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Rizzo
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It's interesting to hear this, because I guess I believed, to some extent, the stereotype about lesbians being faithful, but gay men sleeping around. Maybe I've been watching too much Queer as Folk
Posts: 582 | From: Montreal, Quebec, Canada | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
PixieDust
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You do know that I was reading a statistic about how half of the population who got married are divorced now...

I bet if they allowed same sex marraiges, that percentage would drop.

From the other point of view though...something I just thought of...there would be a bunch of U-Haul gays who get married...so...I dunno. I am confus-ed. Night! LOL
~Shandi

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"We are the normal"-Johny Rznick


Posts: 86 | From: Las Vegas, NV, United States | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
rambler
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The 50% divorce rate statistic is wrong and misleading. It's really not that high... and I have the actual equation somewhere in my sociology notes, believe it or not... it's done in such a way as to make it higher than it really is. I seem to remember that they take the number of marriages which were performed in a year and then divide that by the number of divorces so they're not taking into account marriages from previous years.

Also, we should take into account that in the past "till death do us part" meant 20 years or so whereas now it could mean 60 years....

Just some thoughts.

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rambler
Visit disabledsex.org -- Disability and Sexuality.
Or, find out how to join the teen discussion list
The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.
--Joe Ancis


Posts: 141 | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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