Hi! I've known that I'm bisexual for quite awhile, but over the past few months I've had a crush on a guy at my school. It's been kind of hard for me to deal with this because I simply don't know what to do about it. I don't know if the guy's straight, gay, or bi---about six months ago, he started looking at me a lot when we pass in the hall of our school. He kind of smiled sometimes, but most of the time not. I just considered him a nuisance for awhile, until I began to welcome what I thought were subtle advances. When I started staring at him back, the guy kind of backed off a little. But, he has done things like look at me up-and-down before (???). Now, the situation is just really stupid and childish---he'll look at me, I'll look at him, blah blah blah. I've tried talking to him before, but nothing has come from it. He has a girlfriend that he's not too close to and he is into sports, but there's just something about him that's different. I know that this situation seems really immature, but it's my first experience like this. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I should do? If so, please reply.
Posts: 2 | Registered: May 2001
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Definetly be friendly and get to know him first. Don't get all excited because "oh my gosh a person of the same sex likes me" and settle for a relationship you wouldn't usually want. Hang out with him a little, get to know him. If you want to be direct, ask him his sexuality (an easy way to get used to it is to ask everyone their sexuality when you first meet. Don't be hetero-sexist, instead of asking if they have a girlfriend, ask if they have a boy or girlfriend. I used to be nervous about doing that but now when someone points out that I asked for both, I'm surprised because it's such a habit now). If you don't want to be so direct, mention a friend came out to you because they have a boyfriend and want you to meet him, say how happy you were that they've found that special someone, see how the guy reacts. He may act homo-phobic if he's in a closeted state, but if you react positively, then he'll react honestly. It doesn't mean he's bi or gay, but then at least you'll know if you can be honest with him (or if you should be honest with him).
That is a really cool idea, the asking everyone their sexuality when you first meet them. I will have to try that at camp this summer.
Posts: 356 | From: Phoenix--name that plurally | Registered: Dec 2000
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I have a lot to say on this, since I am in a very similar, yet much more serious, situation. I would get the sexual orientation thing right out in the open, otherwise you end up where I am . I have the same kind of feelings, like there is something different about him, like you are pretty sure he's at least THOUGHT about it... but I can't tell you to act on those instincts, cuz I don't know if mine are true. I guess you can email me if you want to talk more about it.
Posts: 3 | Registered: Mar 2002
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