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Mary
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I was at an assembly today during school, and one of the student body presidents was talking about where the after hours of prom would be held. "Take a right on High, and it's on 5th and Gay." Almost all of the students snickered, because the speaker said "gay". Since when was "gay" a bad thing, anyway? Does it not mean happy? Is it not simply a sexuality?

When something is ridiculous, a lot of people say, "That is so gay." I must admit, I used this term negatively for a while, but then my attention was brought to how it was being used, and I realized that it offended a lot of people (including me). So I stopped using the word, and I've stopped using similar phrases that could be taken offensively such as, "That's so retarded." I don't go overboard on asking people not to use those terms, because it's their decision. I know many people who correct everything I say (gramatically or politically) and while I appreciate their honesty and right to express their concern with the way I communicate, it's my decision to say what I want and no one else's. So I respect that in other people too. All I can do is request something when I am offended and set an example for others by not snickering at or using these terms.

I really believe that we should all respect other people and make them feel comfortable while they're around us. If you can stop using these terms negatively, you can influence a lot of other people to not do it as well. We should all respect each other and honor who we are.

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"Honey, whose car is that in our driveway?"

"It's yours, Frank."

"It IS, isn't it?"


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DrQuack5
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Oh, yes. I know exactly what you're talking about. Last week in spanish, I was sitting next to this kid who grumbles a lot unneccessarily (WHOA! Lookat that spelling!) and was talking about an assignment and he was like, "This is so gay!" And I turned to him and was like, "Y'know what? You are so right. This assignment is obviously attracted to another assignment of the same sex." And he was like, "Well ... it's stupid."

Just thought I'd share.


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Celtic Daisy
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I completely agree. How did the word gay turn into a put down, or a way to describe something weird. My older brother uses the word quite freely, and now it has rubbed off on my younger brother. This really bothers me because i don't think there is anything wrong with homosexuality and now i have a few gay friends. People really should think a little more before saying something, and they shouldnt' say it, just because people think it's "cool". why would that be kewl anyways?

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"A six foot tall anorexic bimbo,with plastic breasts is making me feel weird about my own body."
-Miss Bif Naked


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Gaffer
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Ironically, when I came out to someone at camp their response was: "That's so...". Strange strange America.
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Bobolink
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It would be interesting to know the linguistics as to how "gay", a synonym for "happy", became a synonym for "homosexual".

No value judgements here, I'm just interested in how the English language changes.

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The most exciting phrase in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" ("I found it!") but rather "Hmmm... that's funny...."

- Isaac Asimov


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Mary
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Hmmm.... I'll have to look into that, Bobolink. I'm sure there's info about it somewhere.

By the way, DrQuack, this was a great comeback! I love it! I'll have to use it sometime.

quote:
Originally posted by DrQuack5:
"Y'know what? You are so right. This assignment is obviously attracted to another assignment of the same sex." And he was like, "Well ... it's stupid."

------------------
"Honey, whose car is that in our driveway?"

"It's yours, Frank."

"It IS, isn't it?"


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lostcat
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i absolutely cannot stand when people use "gay" basically as a synonym for "stupid". it was used all the time around my high school- my comeback always was "how can [whatever the thing was] have a sexual identity? it's an inanimate object."

i haven't heard it very much since i've gotten to college. the one time i did, it was when i was walking past a sorority house. it figures.

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"i need to wash myself again to hide all the dirt and pain, 'cos i'd be scared that there's nothing underneath"- radiohead


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$uMMeR
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Actually, the guys in my school who say that have to qualify for these two things:-

#1. They're homophobic
#2. They're in the "in" crowd

I like to call these people the "socs" (anyone see The Outsiders?)

Actually, sometimes when they say that phrase, I feel like laughing because some people...they can be so up themselves.

------------------
*Read my diary

*Read my page

*And...alwayz :)


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DrQuack5
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I love that book The Outsiders!!!!!!

Mary - thank you!


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John Doe
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In answer to Bobolinks query. The term gay, as another word for Homosexual started in the homosexual community, probably as early as the 20's. they would use it amongst themselves almost as a code (remember that things were very repressive for homosexuals back then). It really didn't come into more common usage until after the stonwall rebellion. At that event the protesters started shouting gay power. It was also a less offensive term than the others in common usage such as *** , queer or pansy. Also in the 60's and 70's the society more or less decided that it was ok for miinorities to choose the terms that they wanted to be used to discribe them, ie black or afro-american instead of colored or negro; latino instead of wetback or spic. All in all a good thing, after all the lanuage we use does have subtle effects on the behavior we engage in.
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keoki_14
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That phrase pisses me off so much! Somebody will be like "Ew, that book was so gay!" I'm always like "I'm sorry. I didn't know that books had genders, and that it could be attracted to people. And don't even say that you meant 'happy' because a book doesn't have feelings."

I absolutely hate when words aren't used properly!

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Sarcasmic, orgasmic, fantasmic...


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BJadeT
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Eughhhhhhhh-my brother uses that all the time. But then he is the most homophobic person I've ever met, to the pint where it's scary. So there's no point reasoning with him. Amongst my friends it's not used so much, actually I've never met girls who use it that way. But that's probably just my experience.
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Mary
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Blade, take a trip to my school... I believe on average I hear "gay" being used negatively twenty times a day. I only know of a few people (most are my close friends) who don't use that word in a negative manner (at least not around me). One of my very close friends said it today during lunch, though, while describing an an assignment she had to do. ::Sigh:: what is this world coming to?

Anyway, here's a list of words you can use insted of "gay". "This is ______":

rediculous
unbelievable
unfathomable
pointless
absurd

Anyone else have any good ones? We should keep the ball rolling on this one!

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Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?

"Well, I use fertilizer and a new product I got at The Home Depot."


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lostcat
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ooo, i like unfathomable

------------------
"i need to wash myself again to hide all the dirt and pain, 'cos i'd be scared that there's nothing underneath"- radiohead


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Mophead
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insane
f*cked up
atrocious

Hee hee!

------------------
My menstrual diary
Updated as often as my uterus


If I run by the window real fast no-one will notice I'm naked.


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Mary
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Mophead, some of my fav words
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PixieDust
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Recently I held this convo with my mom and Pixie69. We agreed that it's no coincidence (so I am not that great of a speller) that the word gay means both homosexual AND happy. Maybe all those straight people don't know what they're missing

As for the Username I picked...the explanation is simply wherever pixies go, their pixie dust isn't far behind...I'll let you figure that one out yourselves.

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"We are the normal"-Johny Rznick


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DrQuack5
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I have this little print out thing that I found at some guys website a few years back. It reads:

Remember when gay meant to be happy?
It still does.


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PixieDust
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I love it

------------------
"We are the normal"-Johny Rznick


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Beppie
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On Rove Live, an Australian television show, last week, Rove (the show's host), went to a kindergarten class and asked the kids what they thought of marriage. The exchange went like this:

Kid (male): "You'd have to be gay to get married."
Rove: "You'd have to be gay to get married to a woman?"
Kid: "Yep."

Now, I'm not saying that the meaning has moved so far that it can be used and not be insulting- I think that everyone should make an effort to not use the word "gay" as an insult, and even when it has moved that far, like in this case, I can understand where a lot of people would remain uncomfortable with the etymology. However, I did think it was interesting.


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Kuja
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Grr... This really annoys me. Being bisexual living in a completely homophobic town with a homophobic brother is not the most joyous experience a child could go through >.<;;
Yes, my brother uses this term all the time, and he degrades my sexuality constantly, all the while assuming I am straight. I'm sure if he found out I were bi he'd probably stop talking to me, which sucks. He (along with the rest of the world, it seems) don't seem to understand the fact that Homosexuality and Bisexuality are two very different things. Unfortunately, they both get lumped into the same category by unknowing homophobic "socs", as $ummer puts it (I love that book, by the way).

Anyway, I can't tell you how often I hear this term misused ona daily basis. My friends, family, coworkers, team members... nearly all of them misuse this phrase.

Hiding my sexuality, even online, seems to get harder every day. With the pressures that come with being a teenager, throwing homosexuality into the 'gumbo' doesn't help much.

Anyway, I guess I've trailed far off topic >.<;; erm... well... yes, this phrase is misused far too much, and that's... that .

--Kuja


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Daydreamer24
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This is a pretty old topic, I just thought I'd put my in my opinion.

I really despise whenever people say "That's gay!" It really peeves me off.

My sister tends to say it a lot, and I was surprised whenever I confronted my Mom about it one day and she said "Well she just means it's...." and said "twisted?" And she said "yeah!" And I said "There's so many other things she could say instead of gay. Gay doesn't mean twisted, it means happy, or liking the opposite sex. It really surprised me that my Mom would say that.

My aunt is a lesbian, and my parents always tease her (not to her face) about that with things like "I wonder where her other half is" and the like. I admit, I used to laugh at their jokes, but now I don't. It's the 21st century. You gotta be more open to things like that.

So.. there's my 2 cents.

(Edited because I mis-spelt despise- muahaha)

[This message has been edited by Daydreamer24 (edited 11-19-2001).]


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jazzpenguin
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Dreamer:

I think that because the word gay is so rivetted into general slang theres no point trying to change peoples usage of the word. I just see there as being 3 meanings: happy, homosexual, odd.

That way, I dont end up taking offence from people who dont mean to offend.

------------------
jz


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Pumpkin_Pie
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I hated it when people used to mock me before saying "you are such a dyke/lesbian or whatever(this is before I was out) and I used to get offended. At this stage I just say "Yeah, where's the insult?" I mean, its who i am, why is that such a bad thing?

Beki


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Milke
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Well, queer already means 'odd,' why should 'gay' have to mean that too? I really don't get the whole using 'gay' to mean stupid bit. If being gay was really such a bad thing, it's still being used incorrectly. I've got a big plaid rainbow blanket that we refer to as 'the Gay Blanket,' and I love it dearly, but that's the only time you'll hear 'gay' used to describe an inanimate object in my household.
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DrQuack5
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Ooh! Gay inanimate objects!

I have this Gay Crayon that I got from our school's deep storage and it's so cool. It's a rectangular kind of crayon that's the colors of the rainbow. It's great because I found it about 2 days before national coming out day so on NCOD, I was coloring all over everything in my Gay Crayon.


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jazzpenguin
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I swear you've mentioned that crayon before.

As this topic is gliding into gay inanimate objects, I thought I should mention my dark brown suede jacket, as it is now called the 'gay jacket,' owing to the fact that it has prompted 3 people (individually) to assume that I'm gay (which I am). 8)

I wearit with pride.

------------------
jz


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DrQuack5
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Yeah, jazz, I most likely have. I'm just so proud of my Gay Crayon!
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Pumpkin_Pie
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Ok, when we begin to talk about gay crayons, I know its time to leave.
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jazzpenguin
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Do not insult the gay crayon!

(All bow down to icon of gay crayon, illuminated by angelic light, and sing eerie prayers to it, like in a really bad cult movie.)

------------------
jz


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Pumpkin_Pie
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(bows down to the gay crayon, as if in a very bad cult movie)

All hail the crayon, the bringer of gaydom and rainbows to Scarleteen gaydar central!!! All hail the crayon!!

(Don't you people just love the Skittles ad? Skittles-taste the rainbow)


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kathrynlayne
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I love Skittles! Taste the rainbow...Yum!
I have friends who misuse the word gay too. I wonder if they would stop if they knew about me?

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Don't bother using logic to change someone's opinion if they didn't get it that way. (Translation: Don't wear yourself out trying to reason with a jackass.)


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Dude_who_writes
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Hmm.. this topic seems to be sliding off the map again, so I'd better revive it!

Am I the only person of an alternative "lifestyle" (I'll get into why I hate that phrase in that context later) that isn't offended when the word gay is used in a derogatory manor? I just don't really care. I have to agree with all of the responders who have basically said "if it's so engrained in everyone's vocabulary as being "stupid" or "weird," then there's really no chance of changing people."

Those of us who are gay or bi or tri (haven't heard that phrase used to describe someone in a while ) have many battles to fight on the way to equal rights. Trying to change people's minds on the usage of the word gay isn't one of the major battles to fight. Let's pick our battles, mmmk?

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Tim (a.k.a. the dude)
-------------------------
"I am man who has grown from a son
Been crucified by enraged women
I am son who was raised by such men
I'm often reminded of the fools I'm among...
I am a man who still does what he can
to dispel our archaic reputation
I am a man who has heard all he can
Cause I don't fare well with endless punishment..." -- Alanis Morissette ("A Man")


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Milke
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Apparently, the reason Netscape keeps crashing is because it's gay. I'm going to try Opera now, and see how it fares, orientation wise. I wonder how homosexual software finds other software compatible with it . . .
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Pumpkin_Pie
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Ok, what in the name of the man upstairs is tri?
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