OK, I hope nobody hates me because of this. I have never considered myself homophobic, although I do consider myself straight, but then I'm only 15 and things change. I do come from a homophobic family, but I'm always the one whose saying that they're wrong to be that way. We've had some pretty big arguments about, and I definitely don't share my family's views. But the other day I was in the Gay Village in Manchester, just walking through when i was shopping, and i saw 2 men kissing. Really kissing. OK, it was perfectly natural for them to be doing it, especially there, but it made me feel sick. Honestly, physically sick. I feel terrible about the way I reacted, because I didn't think I was homophobic, but it was a gut reaction. I don't know why I felt that way, but the fact is, I did, although I didn't choose to. i don't know what to do because I feel very, very bad. I do consider myself a generally open minded person, and I kno there's nothing wrong with any orientation, but like I say, it was a gut reaction. Someone help me out, please-tell me I'm not a homophobic bigot!!!!
Posts: 394 | From: Manchester, Lancashire, England | Registered: Dec 2000
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We really CANT tell you if you are homophobic, just like we cant tell people that they are Bisexual or Gay. It has to do with themself only they can say if they are Gay, Bisexual or in your case Homophobic.
Its Ok to be Homophobic, expecally if that is they way you were brought up. Nobody will be mad at you unless you make fun of them or hurt there feelings and call them names. Nobody can be mad at you because that is the way YOU feel.
But remember that Gays are people just like striaght people, they just like different things and that is ok.
------------------ *~*~12/3/99*~* *~*~*~I LOVE YOU BOB FOREVER AND ALWAYS*~*~*~
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't" -Erica Jong<~~~no thats not me :)
Mmmm, but I don't WANT to be homophobic or anybody else with such silly prejudices, that's the thing. It makes me feel bad and it upsets me that I should even start thinking that way. I'd like to change it, and i want to know how. This site has already helped me change my views on a few things, and I'd love to be able to change this one, although I know it wont just happen. Posts: 394 | From: Manchester, Lancashire, England | Registered: Dec 2000
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Remember, when we were a lot younger, how sex used to be really, REALLY gross, and some kids even swore they'd never do it? Same thing here, babe. It's weird to find out that babies come from the daddy putting his youknow in the mummy's, uh . . .yeah, and it's also pretty strange to see guys kissing each other when you've never seen it before. I honestly don't know where these feelings come from; maybe it's something built into us to keep us from experimenting sexually when we're too young for it, but it does seem pretty normal. The problem is that some people never get past these feelings, and still feel that their unfamiliarity with it makes being gay wrong. If you're a kind and tolerant person, you should get over these feelings soon enough, until then, don't worry.
Posts: 5122 | From: I *came* from the land of ice and snow | Registered: Aug 2000
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Education's a groovy thing. Honestly, the more you know, the less freaky things become. As you get older, you'll probably get to know some gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered folks in person, as actual real live human beings, and that's a VERY important part of your education right there -- getting to know that basically, people are people and it doesn't much matter who they fancy sexually.
So cut yourself some slack, and remember that UNlearning homophobia takes time. You didn't learn it in a day, and you won't unlearn it in a day, either. I'd say that if you've had 15 years of good solid training from a homophobic family and culture, you should be willing to give yourself at least that long to work those homophobic reactions out of your system. It only makes sense.
Knowing that you're reacting that way, and knowing it's not just or fair, is the most important thing of all. And you're doing just great with that part. The rest will come.
One thing that seems to help many of my friends who have problems with homophobic reactions is when I remind them that there is NEVER enough love in the world -- and way too much hatred and war. It's kind of silly, to say nothing of counterproductive, to be anti-love, no matter who shows love to whom.
What I think is wonderful about your situation is that you are willing to change how you feel. A lot of people will see two people of the same sex kissing, feel sick, and then keep their original views of homosexuals: they're bad. As in AA, "The first step is realizing you have a problem". Even if you don't, you can always work to improve what you think you're lacking in. Just do what you think you need to do and keep coming here We'll always support you!
Posts: 500 | From: Ohio, U.S.A. | Registered: Feb 2001
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Well you don't sound homophobic. Maybe it's just your tummy that is? Well anyways, you certainly don't sound anti-gay. I agree with what everyone else has said. Remember back in the playground days when kids used little kisses as a punishment? Uh-huh, now its definetly not considered a punishment (unless it comes from your parents, yuk! lol).
It's probably just because how often have you seen people of the same sex really go at it? When you're not used to it it can seem really weird. But you seem like an allaround good guy, give yourself a break.
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