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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » wondering

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Author Topic: wondering
Member # 2388

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My male friend told me a few months ago that he finds another male attractive.I knew somthing was up because her acts very "womanish".He told me the reason why he is like that is becaus he was raped by his uncle as a child.I want to know if all guys who act feminine turn out to be gay?and he is still in school so is it like he's going through a fase or something? cause one time ago i thought i was Bi but it turned out to be just a fase.
Posts: 9 | From: nassau,bahamas | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Gender identity and sexual orientation are two different things.

A woman can have traits which some people define as very "mascultine" (defining behaviour as such is really a pile of baloney, honestly) and be heterosexual, and a lesbian woman can be incredibly feminine. It's all over the map.

Really, there isn'ty such a thing as a "phase" in oreintation. Intead, we all are attracted to different or same genders by degrees. Very few heterosexuals have never been attracted to a person of the same sex and very few homosexuals have never been attracted to the member of the opposites sex. Most people fall a million different degrees in between.

Being a sexual abuse survivor also is far more complicated that creating a divergent gender identity.

Basically, respect your friend for wherever he is at with his own identity. It's no one's place to second-guess anyone's defintion of self.

Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

"If you're a bird, be an early early bird --
But if you're a worm, sleep late." - Shel Silverstein

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2105

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wow, these people give the best advice. i think they deserve a round of applause.
I had a lengthy resonse written when I realized Miz Scarlet had already said everything I wanted to add.

Posts: 356 | From: Phoenix--name that plurally | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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