Hi. I'm a "Undecided (IE Bi/ confused/ 75% gay)" 15 year old guy, and I have a crush on this kid a year younger than me... I don't really know what it is about him, but I just like him. I'm npot sure if he is gay or not, but it seems like he may be. HELP! I have no idea how to handle this! Should I become friends with him and see were it goes from there, or what? I'venever been in a relationship with a guy before, but I would like to.
Posts: 1 | Registered: Oct 2000
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Awww! Sometimes I wish I was a guy coz I just adore gay guys, especially recently out ones, it's all so cute! When I go to college I hope I can find some nice gay roomates. LoL.
Anyways, of course you should become his friend and be friendly, just like you would in a girl/guy relationship. Of course the easiest way to find out if he's gay/bi is to ask him (and I know how hard that is to do! I myself haven't had the guts to do it). but if you're too shy to do that then a simple way to find out (at least in my experience) is one day be like, "one of my friends just came out that he's gay" and see how he responds. If he responds negatively it might just be an act so talk about it "What's so wrong about that?"
Since I'm not a guy I can't help much, but that's what I've used on girls. Hopefully someone else can give more hints, tips, advice.
------------------ I'm the good girl that everyone thinks is a bad girl pretending to be a good girl :D
No matter what gender you are or the person you have a crush on might be, becoming friends first is always a really excellent idea. I like to remind people that it's much easier to make a lover out of someone who is already your friend than it is to make a friend out of someone who you just had a casual sexual encounter with. Doesn't it just make sense to get to know someone first? I think so! Besides, you're sure to feel much more comfortable talking about same-sex desires with someone who is a friend than you would with some random guy you just happened to think was cute -- and I bet he'll feel exactly the same way.
Take it slow, enjoy meeting and getting to know this person. If all else fails, you'll at least have a new acquaintance and maybe a friend... and that's not really a bad thing, either.
The two young women are right. Take it slow and easy, don't rush into things. Remember, he's 14 and maybe more confused about his orientation than you are! Imagine yourself in his position, would you tell someone you're gay if they asked you? exactly. At this point he's probably unsure himself, as you are, and will not confine himself to a label. So, make friends with him, find out his likes and dislikes (remember, just because you like the way he looks dosen't mean you'll like him as a person!) just be careful. I was your age 2 years ago and very much in the same position, although I had a crush on a very straight guy, he and I are still friends even after I told him that I was gay. One last word of warning though, if it does not turn out the way you want it to dont take it personally. Just move on and continue your search, believe me there are plenty more fish in the sea!
I hope that I haven't scared you too much and that I've helped you in some way.
remember: experience is something you get just after you need it!
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