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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » Am i bi? Gay?

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Author Topic: Am i bi? Gay?
Member # 1512

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Im a teen boy and well... ive been called gay for my whole life because i hung around with mostly girls. Ive always loved girls very much and mastubated to them all the time. But recently i was accused of being gay and it kinda sunk in. So for the last couple weens it has been imposible for me to climax without thinking about men. Does this happen to alot of people??? Am i really bi and trying to get out?? am i gay??


Posts: 5 | From: CA | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 100

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You know, we can't tell you if you're bi or gay or whatever. We really can't.

It sounds like you have attractions to both men and women. That's normal, actually. Lots of people do. Whether you will ultimately feel like your same-sex attractions are stronger, or your opposite-sex attractions are stronger, or whether they end up being about the same, is something only time will tell.

You don't HAVE to label yourself. Just be honest with yourself, accept the attractions you have, and see how you feel down the road. In the meantime, go to our "Gaydar" section and do some reading. It might help you learn a bit about sexual orientation in general, and help you feel a little better about feeling kind of confused right now.

Hanne Blank
Co-Editor, Scarleteen

Start a Revolution -- Stop Hating Your Body!

Posts: 1538 | From: boston, ma, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 406

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This is what I wrote to a girl who was asking about it...I took the liberty of copying it and changing the pronouns for ya!

Darling you are whatever you want to be. If you feel that you're bi then call yourself bi, if you're "straight but not narrow" or "opensexual" than be that. Do you like them girls in JUST a sisterly way? Do you like a lot of guys in a very sexual way? Do you like both in a sexual way?
Just think about these questions, you can answer them for us if you like, but remember you are whatever you want to be.


I'm the good girl that everyone thinks is a bad girl pretending to be a good girl :D

Posts: 1339 | From: Las Vegas, NV, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1715

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You have to find that out yourself

But just cuz you hang with all girls doesn't mean anything my one guy friends has a lot of girls freinds but he isn't gay so !
It all depends on you

Posts: 21 | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 894

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I can't tell you if you're gay or not- you might have to figure it out on your own. But what I can tell you is that you are not necessarily gay or bi just because you hang out with girls, or even just because you may think about guys in a sexual situation. The mind does strange things sometimes- maybe that was just an accident or maybe you just decided to try something new. Try to figure it out by yourself. You said that you have liked girls your whole life, so maybe you are straight. Or maybe you really are interested in guys and you are bi or gay. Either way, i hope you figure it out.

"We have to pause and ask ourselves: how much clean air do we need?"~ Lee Iococca
"Dream as if you'll live forever, live as though you'll die today."
"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

Posts: 492 | From: Michigan | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I think it's important to mention here that what arouses someone really isn't ever properly classified as an "accident." It just doesn't work that way.

However, the important point, which Hanne explained, was that what arouses someone -- whether it does so once or fifty times -- doesn't neccessarily have anything to do with sexual identity. We cannot ascribe an identity to someone by their sexual imaginative life.

What we can do is look at your sexual imaginative life, as well as the reality of our sexual lives and experiences, and over time, carve out an identity that we feel comfortable with, and that is never something written in stone.

Ultimately, the best identity for us is the one we feel the most comfortable with -- and since there isn't a licensing comittee for sexual idenities, the one we come up with and feel that we are IS the one which we are.

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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