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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » relationship confusion + a hypocritical poem---

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Author Topic: relationship confusion + a hypocritical poem---
playingbyheart
Activist
Member # 41

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Hi everyone... I have a question: I'm really feeling genuinely happy in my relationship and it's now time to go back to school (i'll be a senior + she's a junior) and I've promised myself that I am going to be fully out this year (i've been out to those who asked for the last half of last year but few asked.) -- anyway, my gf- jess- she's done so much for me (+ her)-- i mean, she's quit drugs, alchohol and that's just amazing. She's been trying to quit smoking for the longest time. I encourage her but I never would make her do anything and about a month ago she told me that she had been using her mothers perscription for that nicatrol inhaler (i wasn't to keen on her using someone else's perscription anyway) but the point is that i just found out she's been lying to be about that and though I'm not angry at her i just don't understand why she would do that-- i mean, she knows I wouldn't be mad at her but i don't know what i can trust her about... and i think i love her, which makes things all-the-more complicated. Very complicated. --

Here is a poem i wrote yesterday--

As I hold you in my arms
whisper stories of false past
love making in your ear
exaggerating the "sssss"
send chills promptly down your spine
grasp your body tightly
suck gently, mouth tasting
your world, skin, smooth-
Baby blues hidden under
blindfold, each hand cuffed to bed
alone for the weekend: your house-
your bed, your love, your life…
my erotic improvisation
taught by instinct
following your heart
beat- boom- beat
listening in-between tender hills
nails clench skin tightly
pleasing you, a silent goal
you fly high in the moonlight
convulsing with fulfillment
and I win this sick game of human nature
we fall, (not so asleep) you want more-
I give you more.
Into the dawn we dance
kiss after kiss
and the sun rises on your silk
then eyes shut,
hands are released
and genuine relaxation
in the arms of one loved
takes hold of what once was
known as reality.


Posts: 91 | From: Chicago, Il | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gaby
Neophyte
Member # 246

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Wow! I really liked your poem! it's exactly what I want to experience with my girlfriend when we take our relationship to the next level! She's even mentioned about the hand cuffs and blindfolding......have you 2 been talkin? lol And about your situation, well i was put in a similar situation when my girl asked me to quit. It took a lot of hard work and perserverance. I know that sounds stupid, but no matter what kidna drug she was/is into, it's hard to leave em. You get accustomed to them. I did quit for my girl, and maybe the reason why your girl lied to you was because she did try to quit, but couldn't and maybe (this is just me here!) maybe she didn't want you thinking she was pathetic cuz she couldn't leave them or she didn't wanna disapoint you. just make sure that you make it VERY CLEAR to her that no matter what happens you're there for her when she needs you cuz she's gonna have a hard time with the withdrawl.
Good luck, and if you wanna talk more about it e-mail me to white_lighter69@yahoo.com

Posts: 9 | From: Albuquerque, NM USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
playingbyheart
Activist
Member # 41

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Hey, thnx for the reply!

The thing is that she knows I realize it's hard for her to quit smoking, and I don't expect her to do it overnight. She's cut down her cig's so much and I was happy with that (i mean, i always encoraged her to quit, but never said i would leave if she didn't.) Then, she just decided to tell me the nicotrol inhaler was working when it wasn't. The thing is, for some reason, it (usually) works while I'm around so she doesn't have to smoke if she's hanging with me.. that's how i didn't know. And it's not like i just missed it, she purposely made me think she had stopped. She even showed me her nicotrol inhaler pack with her one emergancy cig that stayed in there proudly. I just don't get why she bothered lying to me.... I don't know.


Posts: 91 | From: Chicago, Il | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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