Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » Platonic or Romantic?

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Platonic or Romantic?
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
When you're coming out (or even just figuring out where you stand with your orientation) a lot of people make the assumption that any friend you're close to might be a lover.

How do you make the distinction clear, and how do you assure straight friends, that you're not interested? How do you deal with it if you ARE interested?

[This message has been edited by Miz Scarlet (edited June 05, 2000).]


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Pixie69
Activist
Member # 406

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Pixie69     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Let's bring this topic up again A lot of times, when people find out that I'm bi, they think that I may like/have liked them in the past, and I can see it in their eyes, but they don't want to ask and offend me because while they probably don't care that I'm bi, they don't want me checking them out in the locker room. So most of the time they'll be like "you're bi?" and I'll just be like "yeah...and no offense, but you're not my type" and we'll just laugh about it.

At the GBLT youth group I go to, apparently everyone thought that my friend and I were a couple, just because we came together. And I just told them no, we weren't. People ask if me and <insert close girlie friend's name here> are together constantly, but I just tell them that we're not.

For the most part I'm pretty quite about my girlie crushes, especially if I know that they're straight, and I'll tell them after it passes "y'know, I used to have *the* biggest crush on you" but I don't want to mention it while I'm still crushing, because I don't want our friendship to become awkward because of it.

------------------
Brittany
Scarleteen Advocate

This person is a natural product. The slight variations in color and texture enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects.


Posts: 1339 | From: Las Vegas, NV, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Laughs_Wisely
Activist
Member # 2610

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Laughs_Wisely     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I own this topic. Or rather, my girlfriend does.

I came out ages ago...almost three years ago (August) now. She came out 'officially' as a bisexual last year, a few months before she found out for sure that her boyfriend at the time was cheating on her. Most of the people I hang around with aren't exactly comfortable with me flaunting my sexuality (more because of their backgrounds than anything else). They really didn't know what to make of her: glam goth, obviously checking out women and men in public, drop dead gorgeous, very vocal about her sexuality... The breakup was hard on her, and we started hanging around together. Rumors flew fast and furious about whether or not we were 'together', and to be honest, we really weren't for another month.

We're still not 'out' with our friends, but the rumors have died down. They've discovered more interesting prey. And that's my story.

As far as other people go, I just wait until they ask. Then I tell them that, while I find them to be very pretty, and to have lovely personalities, I know that they are straight, and therefore, I'm not interested in them 'that way'.

------------------
Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
( Tr. "I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head." )


Posts: 140 | From: Saskatoon, SK, Canada | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DrQuack5
Activist
Member # 2748

Icon 1 posted      Profile for DrQuack5     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Ah, yes. I remember. When I came out to my best friend, she was nothing but supportive. I was exceedingly happy since I was close to having a nervous breakdown over what her reaction would be. A few weeks or so after I told her, we were IMing and the topic of gayness came up and how last year she thought she was gay because of me and how I thought I was gay because of her. So in short it turns out that last summer, we really like each other more than friends. Jumping ahead to now, we don't like each other anymore. This story and the topic correlate in my head somehow.
Posts: 290 | From: Minneapolis | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gaffer
Activist
Member # 2105

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Gaffer     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Nobody thinks I am in love with my friends, even when I tell them I'm gay because, well, I don't know why. Girls just sort of think yay, another person who'll check out guys with me, and guys, well, I've only told two guys and neither of them assumed I am romantically involved with friends.

It's just not been an issue for me, but if I were really out (as in my parents knowing) I suppose I'd try to make it very clear I'm single. I don't want anyone assuming I'm taken when I'm not, who knows what I would miss.


Posts: 356 | From: Phoenix--name that plurally | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DrQuack5
Activist
Member # 2748

Icon 1 posted      Profile for DrQuack5     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Oh, yeah, I suppose I should add while I'm on the topic that the first person that I told I was gay is now my partner. We do our best to not be "too gay" in school (as in we are pretty much close friends in school). And people usually assume that there's something between us, but they can't quite figure out what.
Posts: 290 | From: Minneapolis | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3