Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Parents, Adults and Teens » mothers and sex

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: mothers and sex
eyelash-princess
Neophyte
Member # 26039

Icon 1 posted      Profile for eyelash-princess     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
i don't know if this topic belongs here...

but something i've been seeing a lot around the net is people encouraging young people not to talk to their parents.

got worries about infections? omg don't talk to your parents, see your doctor in secret!

And while I know that it isn't always a good idea to tell parents about some things which may cause them to react badly, hiding things from them constantly can cause them to worry a great deal about you, and may lead them to butt into your private issues, (in a well-meaning manner, but still...)

there's this fear among many teens that their parents won't understand, or that they'll interrogate them. Just know that most parents, whether you tink so or not, will understand at least part of your situation. They were your age once too, and they had similar problems and questions. And believe me, they had a lot less information available to them.

Although many teens feel embarassed to talk to their parents, I feel that it should not be discouraged. You'll find you may be a lot less stressed if you just open up to your mum or dad or whatever, about what's bothering you.

So yeah, i'm not saying tell your parents everything, but stop worrying you guys! your parents aren't evil, and they want to help you.

[/rant]


Posts: 4 | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
wobblyheadedjane
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 11569

Icon 1 posted      Profile for wobblyheadedjane     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
At Scarleteen, we generally encourage users to be honest with their parents. For the most part, parents will listen to their children when they need help or advice, and have probably gone through similar problems when they were younger. So never will you hear an advocate encourage someone to 'see their doctor in secret' We do however, know that some people will keep sexual activity or health a secret from their folks, and tell them about privacy and confidentiality rights with regards to sexual health. By giving them a full side of what will happen in say, a PAP exam, the users can decide for themselves who to tell, and who not to.

Most of the time, I'd say parents will react better than their children think they will - if not initially, then afterwards. My parents did, and I was surprised (and gratified).


Posts: 1679 | From: London, ON | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
eyelash-princess
Neophyte
Member # 26039

Icon 1 posted      Profile for eyelash-princess     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I wasn't talking about Scarleteen advocates, i was more referring to the teen's peers, and other people who post here.

I'm aware that your staff do the right thing by these kids, and it really is true that your parents get over things and try to help you as much as they can. my mum's a monster, and she was still nice to me about questions i had ^_^


Posts: 4 | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bobolink
Activist
Member # 1386

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Bobolink         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
In threads such as these, it is well to remember that parents know about sex. After all, they had you, didn't they? 20 years ago, sexual mores weren't much different than they are today. And let's hope your parents are still having sex!

------------------
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

- Galileo


Posts: 3442 | From: Stirling, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Leni
Activist
Member # 9536

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Leni     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I don't really tell my parents about my sexual life. Why? They would probably freak out, but that's not the thing. I'm the youngest of three daughters, and even though I am 21, I'll always be the baby. I still live at home, even though I've lived outside for three years of college, so they still hold a certain amount of control (or wish they did). I get it almost every day from them: "don't be doing *stuff*" is how they referr it to. So it's really more my wish to keep it quiet, not to hide, but to keep them at peace.

Doesn't mean I don't tell anyone, though. My sisters, I have found, are good support in that area, especially the eldest.

By all means I encourage people to talk to their parents, as I am sure I would do if it really came to a crisis.

What can I say? I like my parents very much I just don't think they're ready to let go of the little one.

Love,
Leni

------------------
dive into shine, even a deep darkness changes into shine, because i am believing the moment


Posts: 114 | From: El Salvador, but living in London :) | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
*Trouble*
Neophyte
Member # 25915

Icon 1 posted      Profile for *Trouble*     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Just a note from a different perspective:

My mom is a school counselor, and a coworker of hers counseled a 14 year old girl who was pregnant to tell her parents, very much so against her wishes. She finally did tell her dad, and he beat her so badly that she lost the baby and suffered permanent brain damage and paralysis on one side of her body. The father was charged with attempted murder and pled no contest.

I guess it goes both ways. The vast majority of parents would never hurt their child over reproductive or health issues, but there are the sad few that would.


Posts: 4 | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
PERVasive
Activist
Member # 25065

Icon 1 posted      Profile for PERVasive     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I don't know about other kids, but I try to keep my sex life private just because I'd like some privacy. I'm sure my parents would be understanding about almost anything, but I just prefer to keep parents and sex separate.

------------------
- PERVasive

"Don't let your schooling get in the way of your education." - Mark Twain


Posts: 64 | From: Boston, MA | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Gumdrop Girl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
gotta move this to 'parents adults and teens'

------------------
LA County STD Hotline 1.800.758.0880
Toll free STD and clinic information, and condoms sent to your door for Los Angeles County residents.
1 in 3 sexually active people will be exposed to a STD by the time they turn 24.


Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3