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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Parents, Adults and Teens » Sleeping Over at Boyfriend's House

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Author Topic: Sleeping Over at Boyfriend's House
Member # 24098

Icon 1 posted      Profile for amouraveugle     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm seventeen years old and have been with my boyfriend for over a year. He's 19 and he moved into his first apartment. His roommates are like brothers to me and I have known both of them since junior high. Their place is in a pretty safe part of town and only five minutes away from my parents house. Here is the issue, though. I really want to stay the night over there but my mom and dad are so opposed to this idea. I don't understand! They know I'm having sex with him, they trust me, and they trust him. I stay over there until the middle of the night with their permission and yet spending the night is strictly forbidden. Is there any possible way I can convince them? Am I entirely out of line asking for this kind of independence? I guess I don't understand their reasoning.
Posts: 1 | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 17567

Icon 1 posted      Profile for ladydexter     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
If I may be so bold as to say this - perhaps the room mates are the issue?

I mean, I'm 19, and staying at my fiance's house is no big deal for my parents, but if he was living in a "college squat", i.e. a house full of college students, and they were all male, you can bet your behind they'd flip out.

Sit and talk with them. Ask them why they're against you staying the night, and if it is the room mates, I don't think you can get round this one until the room mates aren't in the equation - even if you have known them for years, your parents don't, and herein lies the problem. Remember, your parents are probably thinking "men we don't know + our little girl = <insert horrible thing here>".

EDITED to add a further thought - just because they know you're having sex doesn't mean they're happy about it. My fiance can stay late at mine, but he's not allowed to sleep over "because they'll have sex!". Mom in law is a bit strange - she thinks we won't have sex until like, 1am.

[This message has been edited by ladydexter (edited 06-23-2005).]

Posts: 336 | From: Manchester, UK | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 23661

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I know its wierd but I've heard of similar situations before. Sometimes, parents are competely ok with sex and other stuff like that, but you sleeping over there is more public, and that makes it look like you 2 are having sex. They are ok with the sex, but not with anything telling the world that you are having sex.

95% of the time, most issues with parents aren't worth the fight. My advice would be to abide by their decision on this one and be grateful that they are open to you 2 having sex in the first place.

Posts: 15 | From: Kenner, LA, USA | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 23120

Icon 1 posted      Profile for CEC523     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
My mother doesn't like the idea of me staying at my boyfriend's either even though she knows we're having sex. I think it's just the concept of it.. my mother thinks it's disrespectful.

You're not going to change the way they view it; it's easier to just accept their decision.

"Talking about music is like talking about sex. Can you describe it?"
-Bruce Springsteen

Posts: 124 | From: New York, NY | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 19419

Icon 1 posted      Profile for hot4nerds     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
My parents weren't really for my boyfriend staying the night here or vice versa for a long time because ,like other's have said before me, it's an invite to have sex. So when my boyfriend stays the night he has to sleep in the guest room which is down stairs and I have to sleep in my room with the door shut and if I get up at night to use the bathroom or something you can bet one of my parent's are peeking out to see where I'm going.

At his house my parents made the same set of rules, but I won't lie, I followed the rules for like 2 months and then stopped. His parents are more relaxed about the sex issue and they really don't care. All they ask for that we don't end up with a baby afterwards.

Every parent is different on thier ideals on what thier children should and shouldn't do. Dare I say it happens to the daughters more often?

Posts: 38 | From: Albany, Ny | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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