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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Parents, Adults and Teens » the pill

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Author Topic: the pill
jillybilly
Neophyte
Member # 19523

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im just curious about how to bring up the topic of going on the pill with my mom. the last time i brought it up i wasnt even having sex but i wanted to go on it just in case i started to and she got kind of upset and it surprised me. now that i am having sex i want to go on the pill but im afraid to bring it up because of her reaction. ive gone to a walk in clinic but if i had to pay the 20$ a month they say it would to buy a months supply of the pill i wouldnt be able to afford it.
Posts: 31 | From: White Rock, BC, Canada | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
MarvellousPurple
Activist
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Two things.

Generally, it's a good thing to tell your parents that you're sexually active. We support honesty with parents in all forms--after all, if you're lying to them, how are they supposed to trust you? If something happens--say, you wind up pregnant or something--you're going to need to tell them anyway, and this is a much better situationt o do it in. So, tell your mom. It's good for everyone.

Second, have you checked out our Sex Readiness Checklist? One of the things on there is financial readiness--you know, a sex fund, with which you can pay for contraception and which is around if emergencies arise. Bottom line: if you can't afford $20 a month--which is honestly not very much money--perhaps you should rethink being sexually active at all.

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[This message has been edited by MarvellousPurple (edited 11-14-2004).]


Posts: 475 | From: Back in Providence, RI | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Barbarosa
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 19894

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Was the walk in clinic a Planned Parenthood clinic?

Some clinics take your financial situation into consideration when they charge for the OCP. I have not checked in a while but that seems quite a bit higher than the cost of OCPs the last time I did look into it.

Correctly and consistenly used, a barrier method such as the condom is very cost effective, effective at reducing the risk of an unplanned pregnancy, AND safer for you both. Way safer.

In fact, I encourage all my new pill starts to continue using the condom becasue of the reduced ridk of STI transmission.

In fact I have several married couples that use condoms exclusivly for contraception. They work great and offer a cost advantage over OCP for sure.

Keep trying to talk to your Mom. Tell her that it is important to you that you know you can talk to her about this kind of stuff. She does not have to accept you as a sexual being, and that can be hard for us parents, but she must on some level appreciate your responsibility with this decision making.

Do not throw the fact that you are already having sex in her face. Talk about how important it is to you to be safe in a relationship. Also mention that you have plans for the future, and would not want an unplanned pregnancy to change them. If you feel strongly that the OCP is right for you (in concert with a condom), be well informed as to the benifits to you, outside of the contraceptive angle.

At some point you have to address the issue of your sexuality, and asking to go on pills "just in case" is sort of asking her for her blessing to go ahead and do that.

A better angle is to say that you and your partner have given this alot of thought and discussion, and are planning to become intimate in that way and you need to be responsible for yourself. Gently...

Do not bring it up in a crowd, or with other family or friends around as they might serve as a distraction. Ask her to go for a drive, just you two, so you can talk. The drive works good cause niether one of you can run away!

If it seems the ship is sinking, keep your head up, and say kindly that it may be better to talk more later after you both have had a chance to think about it, and set up a time.

Good luck

[This message has been edited by Barbarosa (edited 11-14-2004).]


Posts: 380 | From: Up North, Wisconsin | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
jillybilly
Neophyte
Member # 19523

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Thanks so much for everyones responses, I'll see if i can put them to use with my mother. As for the comment about how if i can't afford the pill then i shouldnt be ready to be sexually active, i should say that in my household once you reach the age of 15 you have to start pulling your own weight. i pay for my own clothes, various food products and the pets that i own (2 cats and 2 gerbils) its not because we're poor, but its because my mom feels that i need to become financially independent so i know what its like.
Posts: 31 | From: White Rock, BC, Canada | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Your Mom is one seriously smart mama.

You'll thank her for that in time, if you don't feel the benefits already.


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
jillybilly
Neophyte
Member # 19523

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Yah my mom is insanly smart and usually quite understanding (her being a psychologist and all) thats why i find it hard to understand why she cant sit down and have a conversation with me about the pill without her blowing up at me
Posts: 31 | From: White Rock, BC, Canada | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Barbarosa
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 19894

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What mom isnt at least a part time psychologist?

Trust me, even the most open-minded level headed mother-unit is allowed a little space on this topic. Keep your cool, be sensitive in your approach and things will work out great.


Posts: 380 | From: Up North, Wisconsin | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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