It's not at all unusual to not have reported it at the time. You sound like you maybe blame yourself in part for the rape - it really isn't your fault, no one deserves to be raped, it is your father's friend who was in the wrong.
It seems to me you are worrying an awful lot about everyone else, but it is you who have been raped and you who is having problems with your ex, not them. You really deserve some support here, so I would try to stop worrying about other people and work out what you need to deal with the problems you have been having.
It can sometimes be hard for people to accept that a friend they trusted has hurt their child. Only you can judge whether you think your mother will be supportive, but it is possible that if you are blaming yourself you expect other people to blame you when in fact they wouldn't.
You could talk to the school counsellor or the helpline first to help you work out your fears about going to the police and telling your mother, and work out what you want to do.
See also my post in your other thread at http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum3/HTML/005413.html
Thirtysomething and not actually counting
Who the **** is Londongirl?
[This message has been edited by Londongirl (edited 10-01-2004).]