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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Parents, Adults and Teens » Teens...what are the rules in your house that you wish you could change the most? (Page 1)

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Author Topic: Teens...what are the rules in your house that you wish you could change the most?
PeaceAngel
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What are the rules in your house that your parents have made, that if you could have a say in, you would change just as soon as you could?

I would change these three:
~1. My siblings and I are not alloud to date people of another race. -My dad is a racist in some respects and I can not stand it!
~2. My sister and I can't have our dresses or skirts come higher than our finger tips when we stand in a "Tention!" possition. (You know, with our hands straight down by our sides.)
~3. My dad won't let us see ANY R-rated movies as long as we live with him. (I can't wait 'til next year when I am 18!)

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~It takes all kinds of people to make our world interesting and it takes acceptance to make our world peacful.~


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Gumdrop Girl
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umm, wouldn't a skirt that short be difficult to sit in anyway? what's the point of wearing something if you can't move in it without being worthy of censorship on cable?

i'm a practical t-shirt and jeans type of gal.

you've got a point about the interracial dating business. we're all humansand recent discoveries show that we've all got a common ancestor in H. erectus. race is an artificial construct.

now, with that said, come on, your parents mean well (for most part -- not all parents are perfect) when they set rules. you might not think that now, but give it 5 years. i swear you'll smack yourself upside the head and say, 'wow, they were right." then you'll feel dumb for a while -- i sure did.
took me that long to figure out that my parents weren't tyrants when they wanted me home by a certain hour, or if they demanded to know who i was with, or who i'm talking to on the phone. for most part, they're looking out for your safety.

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oh, don't even po-mo me, baby...


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Lilfran14
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ok well for starters i would defiently change my curfew...yes im 16 and have a curfew..i usually gotta be home around 1230-100 depending on what im doing and who im with.

the other thing i would change is the smoking my house, i dont smoke that often usually only at partys and stuff like that but smoke really bugs me and my mom and my two brothers all smoke in the house then when im at my dads house he smokes, so i woudld definetly ban smoking cigaretts as a rule! Thats about it for now

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~*Katie Frances*~

Dave I miss you so much!! Come home as soon as possbile! I love you!

"In the land of the free, home of the brave, why is it that i still feel like a slave.?"

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Celtic Daisy
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Y'know, i can honestly say i wouldn't change anything. I'm not really the kind of person who goes out evenings too often, so as long as i let my mom know where i am i can stay out as late as i want.

I do'nt really wear skirts and if i do they aren't too short. My mom doesn't mind really if they are either, and my dad usually just jokes about them

I can watch pretty much any movies, since my older brother got me into them from an early age, and i've sorta desensitized myself, heh.

hmmm...Me and my parents have a lot of trust with eachother. I've never given them a reason not to trust me so i've been granted a lot of freedom, which makes for a great relationship with my parents as well.

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'You've got the eyes of ten women. Not in a jar! I wasn't accusing you. I just mean your eyes are really nice'-coupling

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Milke
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I really can't think of any stupid rules my family had. My mother's forbidden me to ride motorcycles or get breast implants (she was reading about it at the time, and that was sort of an aside), which is fine by me, but I wish my father had a bit more confidence in my computer repair abilities. I'm forbidden to do anything to this, even to the extent of installing a USB network non-card . . .and USB devices just plug in externally. And yes, I assembled the computer I'm using right now.
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mazz
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There were no rules that i really hated in my house growing up. i mean, i used to have to go to bed reasonably early when i was in my early teens. however, now that just seems reasonable (what can i say.. i need my sleep! )

My parents weren't all that strict; i could always do what i wanted if it was within reason. I honestly think this is to do with the fact that they both embraced the hippy era as young adults and were always very laid back. As a young child i was disciplined alot of course, but as i got older the rules could be bent if i was responsible about it.


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Pumpkin_Pie
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I hate the whole, tidy ur room and dress ur bed thing, I mean, I goign to be sleeping in it in another twelve hours so why bother dressing it?

Am I the only one with this logic?


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Heather
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quote:
Originally posted by PeaceAngel:
My sister and I can't have our dresses or skirts come higher than our finger tips when we stand in a "Tention!" possition. (You know, with our hands straight down by our sides.)

Unless I have REALLY short arms, a skirt that came higher than that would likely get you arrested for indecent exposure, sweetheart. A valid concern, on your Dad's part, especially since he's likely the one who'd have to pay your bail.

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Heather Corinna
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My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
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Daydreamer24
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quote:
Originally posted by Celtic Daisy:
Y'know, i can honestly say i wouldn't change anything. I'm not really the kind of person who goes out evenings too often, so as long as i let my mom know where i am i can stay out as late as i want
...
I can watch pretty much any movies, since my older brother got me into them from an early age, and i've sorta desensitized myself, heh.

hmmm...Me and my parents have a lot of trust with eachother. I've never given them a reason not to trust me so i've been granted a lot of freedom, which makes for a great relationship with my parents as well.


Me too, me too, ME TOO! That's sooo cool, I've never met anyone like that before (well ok, yes I have). I've never done anything too bad (I know, I'm a big goodie-goodie ) in my life. Seriously. I've never given my parents a reason to seriously ground me that bad at all. My sister is and was very rebellious (she's 18, I'm almost 15), so I am known as nearly perfect around here. I wouldn't change anything because my parents are truly all I could ever ask for

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PeaceAngel
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I thought of another rule in our house that I can't stand. My parents don't usually let us go online more than to check our e-mails during the week. We can only go on line on Fridays and Saturdays for the most part, because they want us to spend enough time on school work and things like that. And if we need to research something online for school, that is ALL we can do! I only get to come to Scarleteen 2 days a week!

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~It takes all kinds of people to make our world interesting and it takes acceptance to make our world peacful.~


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sapphirecat
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My house had lots of apparently silly rules. Then I grew up and watched the people without those rules grow into either couch potatoes or drug users/runners. (Although that's not quite exact, as I have a friend who was formerly a dealer and came from a somewhat restrictive house.)

I was restricted to one hour a day of computer time, which had the effect of teaching me to build and create (art and Legos), which in turn brought me to programming. But I digress.

The rules need to make sense. Whenever I complained about that computer time limit, I was told, "You'd just sit there all day if we didn't have it."

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Sapphire Cat
Looks won't tell who's living inside.
Artist, poet, programmer, dreamer, and crossdressing bondage kitty


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badly_behaved_badger
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I would definitly change when I have to go to bed! I don't mind going to bed at 9pm on school nights, but at the weekend I'd like to stay up a bit later!!!

I really think that people should be allowed to go out with people from different races - colour is only skin deep. My parents are fine with this but I know a lot of my friends parents don't allow it.

Another thing that annoys the pants off me is that my 8 year old sister gets to stay up till 9pm too!!!GRRRRRRRRRR!
*lotsa hugs from da bajjah*

[This message has been edited by badly_behaved_badger (edited 04-11-2002).]


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bob18
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I wish I could change the rule where my parents can walk into my room at ANY time!
It means that me and my girl have to be careful and listen 4 footsteps when we're gettin down to it!

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HeatherRocksMyBobbySocks
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*I wish I didn't have to keep the door open whenever anyone is in my room. Whether it's a girl or a guy, straight or queer, the door must be open as far as it can be. Needless to say, it's hard to talk about anything because everyone can hear what we're saying. That really irks me, and I just don't have anyone come over.

*Which leads to I wish my parents would stop saying they don't know any of my friends. Perhaps if they didn't make my friends feel *so* uncomfortable when they came over here because of the FBI worthy interrogation and perhaps if my parents didn't talk so much crap about them after they leave and perhaps if I could close my flippin' door they'd meet my friends.

*Driving with teenagers. They say I can't. I'm 16. In two years I'm going to be out on my own, driving with teenagers. I understand, teenagers get into more car accidents, they're less careful, yada yada yada, but it's such a pain. I went to the movies with a friend. She drives. My parents had to drive me there and drive me home. She followed us. We went to a concert that night. My grama had to drive me there and drive me home. She followed us. First of all, that's a lot of gas wasted, and second of all it's a major inconvenience. We were running late and we valeted but she self-parked and we're running around a casino looking for her. *sighs* Not pleasant.

*Not trusting me. I understand that they don't trust me, I've lied before. Lots. But instead of just saying 'yes' or 'no' when I ask to do something it's all "How do I know you're *really* going to the bookstore? Who are you meeting there? Are you going to meet a lesbian? What are you going to do?". I tell them, feel free, follow me around like you did when I was in middle school, I'm not doing anything wrong so go ahead. But no, they can't be bothered, and they can't be bothered to just trust me either.

My parents just aggravate me a lot.


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lilkazzy
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There are only two things i would change - they are not really rules as such.
The first one is not being allowed to stay the night at my boyfriend's house. He has stayed here twice, and it seems an insult to his parents if i am not allowed to stay there.
The second thing is how open i am with my parents and how open they are with me. I don't talk about sex with them. I probably should, because i would like to go on the pill, and at the moment i wouldn't feel comfortable if my mum found out. But they don't talk about issues like that with me, and i just don't feel right bringing it up, because i don't know how they would react if they found out that i have been sexually active for the last 5 months.

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Kazzy
Promises mean everything, when you're little, and the world is so big.


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foreveryoung
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The rules at my student home are, keep you room clean, do your chore, respect people, you have to have good maners at the table.
And the rules i have to follow that the bording school has are i can't have electric things cell phone, x box, stuff like that. they say we can't wear tight pants, but my house parents don't really care. No shirts that have bad sayings or gestures. I can't have hooded sweat shirts.. they think it's gang related. we can't wear bandannas ect, ect.

My student home rules are fine for the most part. We get no freedom though.. can't go to parties, can't stay out late. I still have my fun though... those are rules my house parents have to follow..

At my house for vacations, my mom makes me do a lot of work around the house, i feel the key word is vacation! I meen yea all do my part, but dang!


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draculas_daughter
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what id change- my always refering to any amle i mention as my boyfriend-and if i ever hav aboyfriend its always "be careful, dont do anything you dont want to, did he try it on with you?'
not being able to stay out till the same time as all my friends- i have to be in by about 12.30 when we goout clubbing-but they can all stay out till 2 or 3.
not being able to go round my freinds houses becuz my mum wont ake me there-i live just 2miles out of town-where they all live.
not being allowed to drink alcohol at home- but being allowed to drink when im out
not being given any allowance
not allowed to have my cat in the sitting room
being made to tidy my room- im not even allowed out to college untill that is done, or allowed to go out of the house, use the phone or the computer.

omg there are so many things like that, and many more i havent mentioned.
AAARRRRGGGHHHHH my mum does my head in. she really does. i think i might move to my dads house instead.....


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Cherokee1696
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My parents used to have rules when I was younger, about going to be by 10 and such, but for the past few years the rules have pretty much gone.
When I go out they want to know where I'm going, with who, and when I expect to be back. If I am going to be late, they want me to call. Basically, they just want me to be considerate of their feelings as they are considerate of mine.

My parents trust me, and we have very open lines of communication. They know and love all of my friends and my boyfriend, and they know most of my friends' parents. So things around my house are really pretty good.


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celery
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I would change two things.

1)My curfew on weekends, It's usually 11:30, but I wish it was later, because I always tell my parents where I am and I'm pretty responsible (I don't do drugs/drink/smoke)
and
2)I'm not allowed to have guys over when my parents aren't home- yes, this seems like a reasonable rule, but hey me and my boyfriend have to have some alone time, sometimes!!

But even when I have guy friends that I'm not going out with they aren't allowed over!

Oh well


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Alex_the_Angel
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My parents haven't been really strict with rules. I've never had a curfew, I can go anywhere I want as long as they know where i'm going, who i'm with and what time i'll get home. We've always had good communication. They trust me.

But there's one thing I would like to change. My parents won't allow me to get a tattoo or piercing (aside from one hole in each ear). I have been using henna tattoo for 2 years now and i'd really like something more permanent.


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pomgirlKelly05
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OKAY everyone, tell me if this is normal: My parents have a CHORE CALENDAR for their 15 and 12 year old daughters and, they won't let us say "stupid", "shutup", or "crap", etc. Also, I don't know about ya'll, but do you have satellite/internet/tv in your room/phone in your room/the right to see R rated movies?? Well my sister and I don't have any of these. Is that weird? Won't this, like, make us explode or something?? I mean seriously, isn't this how those "Girls gone Wild" videos start out? With teens pressured by their parents to do exactly what they want? All my friends say I'm a goody-two-shoes and I really can't disagree.

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~*Kelly*~


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Bobolink
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Your parents aren't your innkeepers and serving staff. They are parents and have the moral and ethical right to make certain rules about conduct and behavior of their children. Until you come of age and move out, you are subject to them.

Why do you have a problem with chores? Do you not feel an obligation to contribute to the operation of the household?

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We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.

- Albert Einstein

[This message has been edited by Bobolink (edited 06-01-2002).]


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DarkChild717
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I found that when I did have a TV (with VCR, Cable box, the whole nine yards) I didn't watch it very much. I just never did. Chores really arent that bad. Really. I am the laziest person I know, and they don't bother me that bad.

Words such as "stupid" and "crap" are often seen as derogitory remarks, and it's generally a good idea to moderate use of them.

I have the internet in my room, but simply because I come from a very, VERY computer oriented family. Computers are part of my life. As for the phone, it's convinient, yes, but not a life threatening situation. Of course, I thought the same things when I was 15. My parents did everything to ruin my life. And I am glad they did. I would not be who I am today without their guidance.

The rating for "R" movies is parental discretion under the age of 17. By law, you can't rent or buy those type of movies until you are 17 or 18, or your parents give permission on their membership application to where ever. It's just another milestone in growing up.

The only thing I can think of for a rule I wish to change is allowing my manfriend to stay the night, or allowing me to stay with him. I like the feeling of sleeping next to someone. I have enough common sense to keep myself safe, and he is so paranoid about becoming a father (he dislikes children to an extreme) that he wouldn't do anything without a condom, properly cared for and everything. But mum has her reasons...I don't know what they are, but I'll get them out of her and stay with him someday soon.


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LilBlueSmurf
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I agree w/ Bobo here, Kelly ...

I'm about to start college next year, and you'd be amazed at the number of my friends who can't sort their laundry, do the dishes (properly!), or even boil water for macaroni and cheese. Are you going to take your parents to college w/ you too? You're going to have to learn it sooner or later, so you might as well loon it sooner, so you'll have more practice

There's nothing wrong w/ being a 'goody two shoes'. In a way, i'm one too. I care a lot about what my parents say, b/c until i'm out of the house, i'm still their responsibility. And that's fine. You (we) don't have to pay pills, we don't need to do the grocery shopping (at least not alone, and then pay for it), and your shelter and transportation is already taken care of. As you get older, more of it becomes your responsibility (for example, how i get to and from where ever i want to go is up to me to find out ... If i want a ton of junk food this week, i have to buy it ...)

So give your parents a break, okie?


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Apoc-chan
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I wouldn't mind my parents' rules, except they're so damn *inflexible*. Rooms and bathrooms must be cleaned by four o'clock Saturday afternoon or I don't get my money for the week. Bedtime (ugh. this is the worst) means I have to be in the shower by nine and in bed by ten on school nights, and my parents will always chase me off to bed by eleven on weekends.

I think the worst part of my parents' rules is that I have to pay for anything I want to buy that they think I don't need. They'll buy my clothing, if and only if it is on sale, or I trick them into thinking it is. They feed me, but only buy me junk food when I can trick them into thinking I paid them for it (example: the pile of pocky sitting in a bag in my bedroom). I have to buy books, anything they think is "too expensive" (which is most things), or anything that isn't on sale. It bites because they have a ton of money they are spending on furniture, but they want me to "learn the value of money" >.< Feh.

These may seem like mild rules... But they aren't >_< My parents believe in following the rules to the letter 24/7/365


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DarlingBri
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Apoc-chan, here's the thing:

Your parents worked for that money. Therefore, they understand it's value. If they want to spend it on living room furniture, then guess what? It's their money.

They are obligated to feed you, but not feed you junk food; they are obligated to clothe you, but not clothe you fashionably.


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SirenRose
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i don't have any objections to most of the rules...but one. no dating 'til ur 16. but that rule..doesn't really exist. i have a bf..and they know it. we just aren't allowed to go to fancy restuarants, or to the movies alone. fine by me, as long as i have jason.

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later rox.
shorter signature, yes?


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livin&lovin_it
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Well I live with my grandparents..which has its moments. But really the only real rule I have is that I can't have any guys in my room. Which is okay with me. I don't have a curfew, as long as they know who I'm with and what I'm doing. And I usually call them and tell them where or what I'm doing. I don't do bad stuff as in drugs or drinking. They can trust me. I have a TV, VCR, and phone in my room..which none of them I really use. But oh well..it's all good.
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SweetNSexy
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ok my dad makes up all these stupid rules like you can date a guy that is more then 2 years older then you. i know that doesnt sound like a good idea anyways but i really dont like the guys my age.
I cant be out past 1:00 even on the weekends. :rolleyes
The thing that really gets me tho is that i can spend the night at guys houses but they cant spend the night at mine. i mean ugh its not like i'm gonna do anything EXSPECIALY with my 'rents around.

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SweetNSexy
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i also forgot about my music. im not sapossed to listen to things like eminem and limp bizkit cuz' of tha language im not sapossed to cuss at all but they let that rule slid. and im not sapossed to go to the movies w/ guys and if i do then adults have to come with. No guys that arent white. daddy is a lil bit racist. but ya know the only thing they dont like about Jason (boyfriend) is that he is 3 or 4 years older then me.


Posts: 2 | From: Little Rock, AR | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bobolink
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The issue of ages is relative. If he's 17 and you're 13, that could be a problem. If he's 26 and you're 22, that's probably OK.

As far as language is concerned, why is it necessary to use gutter speak? Think of how much you would stand out if you didn't. When I swear, people know that I'm really upset, because it is unusual for me.

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BruinDan
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quote:
Originally posted by Bobolink:
When I swear, people know that I'm [b]really upset, because it is unusual for me.
[/B]

And when I swear nobody notices because I have a rather foul mouth. (Right Gummy?)

Honestly folks, rules may seem nonsensical now, but they actually do begin to make sense eventually. I hated doing chores when I was younger, and I still despise cleaning the bathroom today. But having to do my laundry, buy my own clothes, and clean my own room taught me a lot of responsibility that I needed when I moved out. Smurfie is right when she says that half the people in college don't know how to do basic things. We're talking basic, life-sustaining things like paying bills or doing laundry or cooking some chow here. I was Floor President of my dorm during my freshman year of college, and I had to deal with people breaking the washing machine on a bi-weekly basis. It seemed as though nobody knew how to was their own clothes.

One thing that does tend to get to me these days is people who don't appreciate their parents. Kids and parents aren't made to understand everything about one another. It's a simple fact of life. I looked at my mother daily and couldn't figure out why she laid down the law in the manner that she did. But nowadays I look back and it all makes sense. She was teaching me to be responsible for myself and get things done efficiently...skills that many of my friends do not possess. After she died, I realized how much I had taken her for granted. I expected she would just always be there for me to come to with questions about laundry, cooking, finances etc.

But I can't do that now. And I have to suppress rage when I see people berating their parents in front of me. It's tough to watch other people take their parents for granted when you'd do anything to get yours back. So as preachy as it sounds, try and value what you have while you still have it. Even if they do make rules that bug the daylights out of you.

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Celtic Daisy
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First, on the swearing thing, i have to agree. I don't like it, and i only swear when i'm mad or quoting something.

And on the taking parents for granted, etc, i just have to point out that's not everyone. I do'nt take my parents for granted, my mom is my best friend, just in a different way from my other friends. I still like to get hugs from my mom especially, but it feels weird now because i'm taller then her. My mom is there to teach me about life and most of the rules in our house do make sense, in fact, all of them do. We do the basic your room is your responsibility, but your dishes away, the basement must be cleaned(that's for my brothers), sort your own laundry, etc, and my dad teaches me about bills and such. I think most people have to learn to try and see it on their parents levels to understand it better.

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TenohSetsuna
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Hmm... I swear all the time, in fact, when I don't swear and I'm not in a place where I'm required to not swear(say in class, or here), and I become incredibly articulate, you know I'm boiling mad. Whatever, I'm weird.

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shining eyes
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Well there is just so many! but the top ones are:

1) I am not allowed to date black men (I am white). My dad just doesn't like the "gangster" type of people and thinks they are all bad, which is very untrue.

2) I am not allowed To go out with guy friends. Even if they are better friends than my girliefriends! It's insane, if you ask me.

Well these are just two of the many things I'd like to be changed, but these are most important to me. Well guess I can change that when I go off to college! heh heh heh ::evil grin::

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