This is a topic that's recently become relevant to me, since my partner and I are living with my parents for the moment. We're in our twenties, and married, so my parents know that we're having sex and that we want to spend time together on our own. Doesn't stop them from knocking on the door at inoportune moments, though...
Usually, we just go into our room, close the door, and proceed to talk or argue or watch tv or cuddle or whatever else we feel like doing. If anyone knocks, one or the other of us just says "not now, we're busy, we'll be out in a while" and usually they go away.
Sometimes, though, they can be really difficult to live with, in which case we head out for a while. Sometimes we just go to a bookstore and read books and talk; other times we go to our best friend's house and hang out with them for a few hours.
And we have one day each week when we go to therapy (a 3-hour drive each way) so we take that time to talk and be together.
My girlfriend and I can always have sex or fool around at my house, because my dad doesn't really mind. I've talked to him about it, and he says that he realises that he can't really stop us and as long as we're being safe about it (which we always are) he doesn't care.
At my girlfriends house though, it's a completely different story. We are constantly under the supervision of her mother when we're there. If her mom is anywhere near, I can't even put my arm around her or rub her hand, or anything as innocent as that. The only times that we ever do anything at her house is when her parents are gone and there is absolutly NO chance of them coming back for a while. So really, we tend to avoid her house .
We've discussed it before and think that her mom would quite literally explode if she knew we were having sex...
[This message has been edited by Johnny__Rotten (edited 02-11-2002).]
My parents are pretty okay with leaving me alone in my room with my people I'm dating. However, I'm not allowed to have sex while they're in the house. That's fine with me, because I feel a little funny about it anyway. The most I would want to do is fully clothed making out. But they actually trust me enough to leave me alone in my room with someone that I have sex with, and believe that I won't have sex with them at that time.
What was weird was this summer. I was staying with my aunts, who are lesbians. There was actually a rule against sex with men in the house. No sex with men in the house at all. They even met my boyfriend, and liked him plenty, we would all eat dinner together, but even when they weren't home, no sex allowed. On the other hand, girls were fine, lol. The one time over the summer I brought a girl home (who was a good friend), we all hung out together, and then my friend and I went into my room, and with the expectation that we would have sex, my aunts went into their room, turned on the music loudly to drown us out, and told us to have fun. It was pretty damn funny.
------------------ "I'll be a Venus on a chocolate clamshell rising on a sea of marshmallow foam." -Hedwig
Johnny, I can sympathize with you! My boyfriend's mom is like your girlfriend's! I can't touch him at ALL when we're over his house and she happens to be home. My place is differnt, cuz I don't live with anyone but me...but...heh, I am a touchy person and it kinda kills me when I can only LOOK at him....heh...His house is on avoidance, too.
Posts: 45 | From: Girard, OH, USA | Registered: Feb 2002
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theres nuthin wrong with bein alone wit a partner u do not have to have SEX quality time together alone is sumthin all couples wud luv to have especially teans
i wud luv it if ma g/f cud come over and watch a movie with me but when i tol her to ask her mom she said her mom wud look at her like she crazy i kno ma mom wud let me but that wud be so special to me jus so we can cuddle and whisper to one anothe r
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[This message has been edited by Bobolink (edited 04-05-2004).]
How do you go about telling your family members that you want some time alone w/ your partner, or do you? Are they respectful of your wishes?
--Both of Isaiah's and my 'rents are very respectful of our wishes. We don't have sex when they are home (in respect). However, we cuddle,kiss, talk even if we are in Isaiah's or in my room. Our parents give us plenty of time alone though For both Isaiah's and My house, we only have sex if both set of parents are away/out . Isaiah's parents DO allow me in Isaiah's room when he changes/undresses his clothing (but it never leads to anything more than that in respect of course). ------------------ ~Jules
[This message has been edited by summergoddess (edited 04-06-2004).]
[This message has been edited by summergoddess (edited 04-06-2004).]
All-right me and my boyfriend are around each other practically 24/7 when where not working or he has field day. We both live for away from our family's where talking litterally another country. Where in Japan his family back in SD mine in NY.
Its not so much family but his friends who will be interupting us or will be kicking out of the room or asking to leave because we want a little alone time or we need to talk. They seem to be around alot, I don't mind most of the time but sometime's you want that one on one time.
Like last night for example: Hell it was my birthday to out of all days of the year my second b-day away from home. My 20th b-day.
We where downstairs in one of his friends room drinking and having a good time. Playing games and watching movies. They started arguing over some movie and me being a little wobbly and tippsy and a little upset I left and went upstairs to our room. I layed on the top bunk. He walks in a few minutes later a little ticked off that I just up and left, he was going to go back down and hang out with his friends and continue watching the movie. I didn't say anything but he knew I was getting ticked off, he mentioned something about not being able to hang out with his friends all the time and the only thing that is popping up in my head is fuck its my b-day why can't you be with me. Any other day I could care less. Ya know. He told me that he was going down to tell them that he couldn't finish the movie with them. This was at 9 at night. He comes back to me crying, he's wondering whats wrong even though he knows already whats wrong. Will leave it there. Our mututal friends say I'm nothing but a girl. But there is one day actually probably two days out of the year make that three that you want him all to yourself and you don't want to share and honestely I don't hink you should have to if you don't want to.
Well we talked for about an hour, not so much about what happened just stuff in general, and we had a really good night. I remember turning to him and saying Hey its still my b-day somewhere around 10 at night and the next thing I new it was almost 1 in the morning. When he rolled on top of me and told me my b-day was over, I kissed him right then I was glad.
When i was, oh 19 or so, my boyfriend and i rented a hotel room for the night. We ordered movies, cuddled, and yes, had sex. Neither of us could have any private time at home. We were honest with our parents about where we were going, but my mom was blissfully unaware of what we were doing (I think she chose to be! ) Granted, it isn't pratical for teens, or those without jobs and credit cards. It was a nice night, worth repeating if needed.
------------------ I got accepted into not only 1 but 2 master's in audiology programs! Woo hoo!! I am gonna be an Audiologist!!!
Wow, I didn't realize how easy I have it! We live on a ranch, so any time I want to take off and get some time to myself (not necessarily alone, though) it's as simple as heading to the barn and saddling up to ride to any number of secluded spots on our land. My favorite is this place that overlooks a wash-out about seven miles from our house. It has a little stream that feeds a huge stock tank that's big enough to swim in (well... sort of - It's only two and a half feet deep) and there are a couple of old dead trees where you can tie up you horse. The best thing is the view at sunset though. It literally takes your breath away! My parents don't particularly care where I go with whom, as long as they know when I expect to be back and which horse I'm on. But then again, there only restrictions about sex are (and I quote) "Don't be stupid" and "For heavens sake, don't do it in the pens and scare the horses!." Actualy, my parents have always been very open about the subject with me and my sister. It's kinda hard to be uptight about it when we breed 100 mares on average every year. We breed show rabbits too, so we get to see the whole big picture of how things work. It's actualy pretty cool!
Posts: 64 | From: Carlsbad, NM USA | Registered: Mar 2004
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Heh, that sounds great! Ah, to be one with nature....too bad I'm always living near cities!
My bf came home with me for two days over break, and my mom was okay with that, as long as we slept in different rooms. He eventually ended up sleeping in my room and I slept in my mom's room. (My dad was away on a business trip, but I think he would have allowed it..a bit grudgingly...) Mom didn't stay up to make sure we weren't doing anything, though, and she definitely went to bed after seeing us cuddled up on the couch watching a movie.
His parents are much more open - I've stayed at his house more than once and even though his dad went through the formality of having a guest room ready, I slept in his bed anyway. I guess they expected as such. His mom even woke us up and didn't seem too surprised to see us together.
I also stayed for a week at his family's cabin in WA with his aunt and uncle, and even though his aunt seemed a bit surprised to find out we were sleeping in the same bed (in a room with 2 beds, at that), she didn't say anything either. Haha, and she found out by trying to switch pillows - a lot of people who were at that cabin are allergic to down feathers, so she was trying to swap pillows. She took one from the bed, and my bf said, "That's my pillow" and she took another from the same bed and he said, "That's Anita's."
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