Well my bf and I used to make out in my room when we first started dating, but now we usually can control ourselves until we get outta the house.
As far as his house goes, I am 19, and he is 17, and his mom will NOT allow me to be there unless she is there with us to watch over us. Even if his bro and sis are there it doesn't matter, she has to be there for me to come over. In a way, this makes me feel bad because its almost like she is saying I am a ho or something (which is not the case 'cause I am a virgin).
Oh well, I think sexual activity is best reserved until you have your own house.
quote:Originally posted by ConfusedGirl1: ...In a way, this makes me feel bad because its almost like she is saying I am a ho or something (which is not the case 'cause I am a virgin).
ConfusedGirl1, I know that you're trying to say that you feel that your mom doesn't have trust in you, but we don't like throwing the words "virgin" or "ho" around at ST. Those words are labels that are pretty broad and unnecessary, and can make people feel bad. Thank you.
------------------ Ash Scarleteen Advocate "The level of our success is limited only by our imagination and no act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted"--Aesop
My mom has complete trust in me so yea... its HIS mom that doesn't.
I understand about using the word "ho," but I am a litte confused about the word "virgin." I am NOT trying to start anything at all, but I don't get it: this is a sex education website and I can't use the word "virgin?"
I think ashy meant that virgin is a very complicated term. It means something different to everyone and can make situations kinda confusing. We generally try to shy away from confusing things like that.
------------------ 'You've got the eyes of ten women. Not in a jar! I wasn't accusing you. I just mean your eyes are really nice'-coupling
I've never done that, and don't really have a desire to. I agree with the ones that have stated that it is disrespectful for you to have sex while your parents are home. I have never engaged in sexual activity that requires you to take off your clothes in my parents' house (while they are home or are going to be home soon). I think it would be ok as long as you do it when they aren't home, and in YOUR OWN bed. some people like to do it in their parents' room/bed. I think that that is a little too wierd for me
------------------ ~Who live in a pineapple under the sea?~
well i wont say ive had experience cause im a virgin but as long as you dont get too noisy and doors are locked then its ok and everyone has the right to privacy and parents shudnt be too strict and always in child's bizz
but keep in mind to be quiet and show some respect because too much noise might interupt parents lol :-)
Me and my current partner actually had this discussion the other day - however, his standards seem to be rather flexible...
At his house, we do kiss and touch, and occasionally throw in fingering or oral sex, which generally involves one of us being partially naked (since I refuse to wear skirts, so he has to pull my jeans down to get at me - likewise me to him). At one point he said he wasn't going to do anything because his mother was in the next room - but shortly after we had oral sex. (Possibly because his sister wasn't in - see below.)
However, he's firm about no sex in the house with anyone else in, with good reason in my books as his door doesn't lock and his 12-year-old sister has a nasty habit of barging in without knocking - the rest of his family either knock or don't open the door far enough to see the bed. Funnily enough, I think his mother knows what's going on, because she arranges for the family to go out and leave him behind, and last time she actually told him to invite me round - I think she knows and is trying to give us a little time to ourselves with no fear of interruptions.
In my house, I would never have sex with my parents in - again, no lock on the door, and the bed just squeaks too much for it to be practical (I may as well stand on the roof and shout to the town that I'm having sex, it's that loud). Also, I don't get along with my mother at all, and doing it with her in the house would be like asking for an earful. I'd do up to oral sex with my parents in - thankfully we're both pretty quiet - but as for actual sex? No thanks.
This is just my opinion, and it's mostly based on my mother and I not getting on at all. As for him, he just doesn't want to get caught by his little sister - fair enough! If you get on with your parents and it's fine by them, then by all means, have sex with them downstairs or in the next room or whatever, but if you've got family problems like I do, and it just isn't practical, then wait until they're out, I'd say.
I think it's a big sign of trust from the parents to leave their child home alone and let them bring their partner around, don't you? Maybe that's understanding - the parents have probably been through it before too with their parents, don't forget - they probably know how hard it is to find time to yourself where you can do what you like without fear of getting caught.
I think my boyfriend and I are 1) at an age where my parents can trust that we're not going to do anything "stupid"(<--parents terms, not mine!) and 2)have been together long enough that it shouldnt much matter anyway.
Granted, yes, I think it is rude to engage in sexual activity in the house while they can be concious of your doing so...but if they arent there or they're asleep in their bedroom at the very top and front of the house, and you're in the family room at the very back and bottom of the house, they cant hear a thing.
Not to mention, they have to know that something is going on...Over summers, my boyfriend and I only see each other once every 3 weeks since we live rather far from each other. And when he stays at my house, my parents let us sleep in the family room on our pull out couches(seperate couches! ). So...I think thats their way of giving us time alone.
When we're at his house, we have to be in seperate rooms at night when we sleep. But there's been pleanty of times where we havent been doing anything at all, just sitting around talking in his room and his mom would yell out a warning, "I'm coming up the stairs!!". And we would just stare blankly at her...and then my boyfriend says, "mom, you dont have to warn us when you're walking up the stairs! What are you doing?" to which she laughs and says, "well, i didnt know...you guys could be smoochin!" hahaha (she's a funny lady! )
It really hasnt been a problem though, I mean I'm 20 years old and I'm in college...if my parents havent figured out that me and my boyfriend sleep in the same bed at night here, then they're reaaallly slow!
Both of Isaiah's parents and my own parents knew we were sexually active early on in our relationship. (Our three year anniv is next month ). Both are fine with it.
At Isaiah's house.. well for 2 and half years, Isaiah used to have the front of the house to himself (there was a wall seperating the front and the back of the house). So we had a lot of privacy and we had sex even if his mom was home (but she was no where near us lol ). But ever since since Nov of last year (2003), his mom made a doorway through the wall (she was planning on having a BIG XMAS dinner and needed to make more room and it had nothing to do with us having sex). So we didn't have that cherished privacy anymore. So Isaiah got a room at the back of the house so now we don't usually have sex if his parents are home (in respect) but we do if they are out . His parents usually leave us alone in his room all the time when they are home though.. they don't care if we kiss or cuddle. They let us sleep together when i do stay over for the night .
My House-->My parents allow me to have Isaiah in my room but we usually just cuddle and watch dvd movies (i have a tv in my room). They'll leave us alone for quite amount of time. They used to check on us for the first month of our relationship though. They let us go in the hottub or go swimming alone together in the summer. Up till last year, whenever my ' rents were away, i'd take the opportunity and go over to Isaiah's for the night. It was just this past February, that Isaiah agreed to sleep over for the first time (in almost three years of our relationship). My 'rents were away. It was amazing having him finally sleep in my bed with me [Isaiah said that oh we're taking your bed when we do live together ]. But the first time of having had sex in my bed was earlier than that, it was exactly a month before Christmas of last year (Nov 24, 2003) that happened . He waited this long for both of those things because he had so much respect for my 'rents and the house and he was indeed always worried in the past if we'd be caught. My 'rents won't allow having Isaiah over for the night if they are at home (it's just the way they are, so i've never had that happen).
Both of our parents know that we are in a very serious and very sexual loving relationship and knowing that we are planning to move in together this January (2005) and have future plans of marriage. Isaiah and I are very fond that our parents respect our sex life and our love life together.
[This message has been edited by summergoddess (edited 04-06-2004).]
I'm bisexual and I have a g/f. She spent the night over my house and my parents are only informed that she is a close friend. But it was realli late one night and her and I started to make out becuz we thought everyone was sleep. I accidently kicked over my snow globe and my mom thought someone was in the house so she came up stairs and luckly our floor creaks so we had time to pretend that we were watching t.v. WE now decided not to fool around unless we know for sure everyone is dead sleep.
Posts: 77 | From: Roanoke,Virginia, USA | Registered: Jan 2004
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yes i have had sex with my parents in the same room actually and im 13 my parents didnt really mind they just said that at least you were very protective about it and your honest and we rather you do it at home and we know about it than some where else and us not know about it and pus they were having sex to and they veiw porn in the living room and every thing but also what they dont know about he result of that day is i had gotten prego and now i dont want to tell thembecause untill now they have trusted me
Posts: 50 | From: san dimas california | Registered: Apr 2004
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Now, in a nother post, mere moments ago, you stated your parents don't even acknowledge your existence and that you are in the care of your aunt. That aside, any parent IN THE ROOM during coitus is not going to be unaware that pregnancy is possible.
It also should go without saying that parents being in the room during their children's sexual activities is, in most cases, a completely inappropriate and possible abusive scenario, not to mention a serious legal issues, especially in a state where you are five years beneath the age of consent.
I know my parents had sex when I was at home but that was their house. But with the society we live in this is a big no-no. Imagine if you walked in on your parents you would totally freak out, so think about how they would feel
Posts: 22 | From: cobleskill ny usa | Registered: Oct 2003
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Good Lord, the very idea freaks me out! I may have a little bit of an advantage because I have 18 sections to roam about on (a section is a square mile) and with that much space there's no way I'd ever have sex anywhere near the house! Besides my parents, I'd have to worry about all our staff, my students, clients, and the odd livestock inspector, sheriff’s officer, or forest ranger walking in on me. It's soooo much easier to pack a lunch and just take off for a while. That way, I'm almost guaranteed privacy. Notice I said almost - you'd think that in 18 square miles the odds of running into another human being would be nonexistent, but it's happened. Fortunately, folks around this end of the country tend to be very tolerant and just take the long way around when they come across someone in a, shall we say, indelicate position.
I've had sex while my parents were upstairs. My boyfriend and I (21 and 20 years old, respectively)were at my house for spring break and the only time we really got alone was when everyone else was asleep so........ yeah, we did it in the family room while my parents and brother were sleeping upstairs. We were quiet and had a movie going so it wasn't too quiet but quiet enough to hear if anyone was coming downstars. It was kind of awkward not only because everyone was home but because the dog came wandering in while we were at it on the floor.
Posts: 7 | Registered: Aug 2003
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